Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Baby Steps

Revelation 21:4 (New International Version)

4He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."

Amy Carmichael had this to say today, in Edges of His Ways:

"Even little children know what it is to be impatient, and all through our lives we are tempted in this way. Perhaps there is nothing we need more than patience--patience when we do not understand things or when they cannot be explained; patience when things do not turn out as we hoped they would; patience with people; patience with ourselves."

It was 7 o'clock and I was still in the bathroom putting on my makeup when Paul came downstairs. He reminded me that he'd asked me the night before to follow him to a nearby garage so that he could drop his car off for repairs. I'd forgotten all about it and had slept later than I should have in order to do everything I needed before leaving for work at 8.00.

I'd put on a pot of coffee to perk which I planned to bring to a meeting--and was trying to finish getting ready when Paul alerted me, "Some thing's wrong with the coffee!" I ran from the bathroom to find water overflowing from the coffee maker --the coffee filter had chosen that moment to double over and block the flow and the counter top was becoming a river of fast flowing grounds about to cascade down the sides of the cupboards. As we grabbed any absorbent material near at hand to stem the gritty tide, Paul said, "I'll clean it up." I instinctively started to over-ride his offer and say, "No, that's okay, I'll do it," but I caught myself in time and just said, "Thank you."

Paul left for the small country garage, five minutes drive down the road, while I finished combing my hair. I followed a few minutes later, expecting just to pick him up and come right home. I arrived to find him still in his car. I rolled down my window; "They're not open yet," he said, "they must open at 7.30." I glanced at the clock on my dashboard. It said, 7:17--thirteen minutes to wait! Impatience was hitting when I remembered--I hadn't prayed yet--so I turned away from Paul's car, tried to ignore the music I could hear coming from it, and concentrated on writing out a prayer.

Then Paul had a brainwave and decided to poke his car key through an exhaust vent in the garage door--we were home again before 7.30.

As I poured a bowl of cereal, Paul spread passport application forms over the kitchen table. He was taking a day off and this was a task he'd been talking about doing for a while. He began poring over the boxes that asked for various types of identification--some had to be originals and some could be copies. I'd done my own passport application last year and knew it required time and concentration. I told Paul where his citizenship document could be found and he went to the office to look in the filing cabinet for it. I pictured him looking for it in vain--where I could easily spot it--and I went to help find it.

I hadn't even had breakfast yet and I had fought three battles with impatient and aggressive reactions--inside my head. And I don't think Paul had any idea what kind of a monster was trying to jump out at him!

I am suddenly so much more aware of my less flattering automatic reactions and their impact on others and am working hard on being different...Baby steps.

Prayer: Dear Lord, I thank you for the way you use the circumstances of our lives to teach us life lessons. Please keep helping me to learn a different way of "being " in the world.

Galatians 5:22 (New International Version)
22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,

1 comment:

Leann said...

I was a woman alone to raise two young girls.I was one of those

"if I dont do it, it wont be done right people".
I ran around trying to be Mom, Dad and everyone!!!!soon I was burnt out and felt like I was used and abused.
I went to the Lord with it.I said "Lord why do I have to do all this stuff?Im one person and cant handle it all!!!where is the person to help me????

it got real still and I heard "I sent you two people to help you and you wont give them a chance!!!

I begin to see I wanted to pertect my girls and do every thing for them.I wanted a clean house and washed clothes,good food.but I was wore out.

I let the girls do dishes,and help clean now and then.they didnt do it as good as I did cause they were young.but how does one learn if one is never given the chance to.

if some one offers to help let them.after all God sent them to in the frist place.

I find hubbys can find things just fine by themselves.but some like to let the wife do it if she will.

I was alot easyer to get aong with when we all worked together.

this is what I learned that day.

"if it can only be done good by me,then I cant get mad at others if Iam wore out all the time.they cant help me if I wont let them".

and never pray for patients!!!unless you want all hell to break lose.believe me I learned that real fast.I didnt pray for it again.
you ask for grace and strenght to do what needs doing..and what we cant do we dont sweat it..

God bless.(((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))