Paul always gets edgy when he’s going away. He is ready several hours early; bag packed, coat at the ready and his nervousness always rubs off on me.
This time it’s almost time for him to leave and we have lunch before he goes. I feel like half of my brain is leaving; the half that knows how to turn on the T.V. and operate the array of 4 remote controls that lie on our coffee table. This is not a big problem. I can happily exist without T.V., but on Tuesday night at cell group there is a projector to operate. I’m definitely nervous about that.
Author Malcolm Gladwell in his book, The Tipping Point, explains an interesting aspect of relationships; Transactive Memory. Although the words “transactive memory” don’t spring to mind the moment you think about intimate relationships, he says that this is part of what intimacy means and that couples, families and work groups form unspoken agreements about who will remember what. We don’t all need to know everything; we just need to know who knows. I found it a fascinating concept and very applicable to the situation at hand.
It’s not that I couldn’t learn how to operate the remotes lined up like dueling pistols on the table, but I really would rather rely on somebody else. It’s not that I’m lazy, but I have made the transaction (thank you Malcolm Gladwell) to contribute to our relationship in other ways. There is only one person in the world who believes that I have any technical ability; my friend Dave, who relies on my help from time to time with his blog. He has no idea what a weak stick he is leaning upon!
Earlier in the day I said to Paul that surely there must be a way to turn on our entertainment system without using 4 different remotes in mysterious sequence. He tried to explain to me why it was “easier” using 4 remotes because it would require “programming” to make it all work through one. I said that I would gladly hire someone to come and program the system to one remote. How hard could it be? Apparently it is very hard.
A huge shift has happened since we were young. He actually remembers wind up gramophones with needles that you changed every few records. To get more volume, you would have to open the sides of the gramophone.
This made us realize how old we are and he said, “Belinda, we’re lucky that we can even turn on a computer,” which made me laugh. He has a point.
Romans 12:4-8 (New Century Version)
4 Each one of us has a body with many parts, and these parts all have different uses.5 In the same way, we are many, but in Christ we are all one body. Each one is a part of that body, and each part belongs to all the other parts.6 We all have different gifts, each of which came because of the grace God gave us. The person who has the gift of prophecy should use that gift in agreement with the faith.7 Anyone who has the gift of serving should serve. Anyone who has the gift of teaching should teach.8 Whoever has the gift of encouraging others should encourage. Whoever has the gift of giving to others should give freely. Anyone who has the gift of being a leader should try hard when he leads. Whoever has the gift of showing mercy to others should do so with joy.