Whatever He Says

Psalm 33:20-22 (New International Version) 20 We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield. 21 In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. 22 May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD, even as we put our hope in you. I had something weighing heavy on my heart this morning, but as I read some psalms, the verses above, from psalm 33, were like soothing ointment, and peace began to return. Next, I went outside and found Paul. He was shovelling gravel into a trench that he'd dug for drainage, trying to eliminate a soggy spot in our garden. It was hot out in the sun and his forehead had burned. He mopped the sweat that ran in rivulets down his cheeks, and sat down on a wall with me, prepared to listen. Even as I unburdened my heart, I knew that I was adding to his load of cares, but I needed him to hear me and he did, halving my worry as he did. "Unburden;" how aptly we apply that word to sharing a worry with someone e...

We sat together talking about "us" and the times in the past when our marriage felt like it was over. It's been almost 39 years so there have been a few times of heartache that felt hopeless. Neither one of us has been a model spouse. Is there such a thing? My journal contains scattered puddles of pain that poured out and splashed onto the pages when I felt that I had nowhere else to go with it.Many times I have been tempted to tear those pages out. I haven't though, because an edited life seems to me to be to be a flat and pallid life. For better or worse, it is my life One thing I worried about though, was Paul reading those pages if I died first. I did care about that and how hurt he might feel. But this week I read some of them to him. It was such an intimacy, to look back at how I railed against him; how we hurt each other, and to realize that we are here now, still together and loving one another deeply and tenderly and with all of our hearts. I thought it might...

Paul always gets edgy when he’s going away. He is ready several hours early; bag packed, coat at the ready and his nervousness always rubs off on me. This time it’s almost time for him to leave and we have lunch before he goes. I feel like half of my brain is leaving; the half that knows how to turn on the T.V. and operate the array of 4 remote controls that lie on our coffee table. This is not a big problem. I can happily exist without T.V., but on Tuesday night at cell group there is a projector to operate. I’m definitely nervous about that. Author Malcolm Gladwell in his book, The Tipping Point, explains an interesting aspect of relationships; Transactive Memory. Although the words “transactive memory” don’t spring to mind the moment you think about intimate relationships, he says that this is part of what intimacy means and that couples, families and work groups form unspoken agreements about who will remember what. We don’t all need to know everything; we just need to know who kno...

She was beautiful, this young friend I hadn't seen for a while. It took me a moment or two to realize what it was--ah, yes, the tan. In the middle of a Canadian winter, she glowed. Her blue eyes popped against her golden complexion, emphasized by the turquoise and silver jewelry she wore. She wore her blond hi-lighted curls in a short bob that framed her lovely features. She had arrived back home from a tropical island vacation just that morning and she bubbled over with descriptions of the resort, the wonderful time of reconnecting with children --rebuilding intimacy and relationships that can falter and crack in the pressure and rush of our north American lifestyle. The food, the horseback riding, the other recreational activities all sounded wonderful. She spoke of the staff at the resort, the men showering flirtatious attention and compliments on the female guests, including herself and her daughters. Not wanting to miss a minute of this time away, she was up every morning earl...

Susan sent me a comment and I wanted to share it, to flesh out the discussion. Thanks for the added thoughts Susan! Ephesians 5:21 (New International Version) 21Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. This is great wisdom and something that is not understood by most Christians, never mind the rest of the world. The preceding verse to the one you quoted is key for me. It says, "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ". Then Paul goes on to talk about submitting in the marriage relationship specifically. As you well know, I am not a theologian or a student in New Testament Greek, but what has come to make sense to me is that Paul is telling us always to be prayerfully willing to submit to each other. But in the marriage situation, when we are submitting, or deciding to submit, wives should keep these things in mind (respecting her husband) and husbands keep these things in mind (loving his wife). I think it is the right thing to do for a husband to sub...

Ephesians 5:22-25 (New International Version) 22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. I found myself wondering what these verses really mean when I recently re-read the familiar passage. These verses seem oddly old fashioned in this age of equality. I find myself asking; does God really want us to do this; and does it mean that we lay aside our minds and “just submit?” In the hilarious movie, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, a woman said of her autocratic husband, "He may be the head of the family, but I am the neck and wherever the neck turns, the head goes.” We all laughed! What is it about that statement that is so funny? Is it the thought of the husband thinking he i...