Thursday, April 26, 2012

Better Version

By Belinda

My colleague, Kerri Jean Winterler, put some thought into making the words of Peace 101, simpler yet! . Our little anger support group is meeting this afternoon. We are excited about learning better ways to deal with anger together. God uses all things redemptively, doesn't he?

Thank you Kerri Jean, (and here is her version:)
  1. When people disagree and one is angry, talking will make the anger bigger.
  2. The angry person may say things that make you mad. Now two people are mad.
  3. If you explain or defend yourself, your anger will increase/get worse.  When you do this, you are trying to control the other person. 
  4. When both of you are arguing, you are trying to control each other. You want the other person to feel or think the same way as you or do what you want.
  5. When we are yelled at, or blamed, we try to explain ourselves. By doing this, we are trying to make the other person agree with us. 
  6. When we talk back to someone who is angry, it only makes things worse and confusing.
  7.  Instead, one of the people needs to "zip their mouth closed", walk away and not say anything.
  8. Don't walk away angry, or to punish the other person, but to take care of yourself.
  9. You accept that you cannot make the other person do what you want. You are getting away from the anger so you don't get hurt or upset.
  10. "Zipping your mouth" and walking away is loving to yourself and the other person.
  11. When the other person is friendly again, you can both talk and no one needs to be upset.

3 comments:

Theresa said...

Such a difficult topic. Growing up, anger was dealt with by using the "silent treatment". I would much rather someone talk to me than be silent.

Amazing how our upbringing can play such a huge role in the way we deal with situations.

I like the idea behind walking away...until it is done to me..LOL!

swissdebbie said...

!!so very true, I was in such a situation yesterday, ....but easier said than done...except here, I just don't have the words yet, so I said goodbye and left!
But the difficult part is then letting go of it!
Deb

Belinda said...

Such a struggle! I believe in talking, but have found that talking when angry only does more damage that you then have to heal. I am trying to wait until I can talk calmly, without being hurtful. It should be about resolving an issue, not hurting someone. Sometimes someone will be hurt anyway, but at least not through rash and angry words.