Whatever He Says

Last July, I promised to share more of my journey to having a more peaceful spirit. Shortly after that, a series of events took priority, and I didn't finish the story. When I finally had time, I had lost some notes I wanted to use. I found them again, and now it's time to finish this story! To anyone out there who remembers my first two posts on the topic, please forgive me for not keeping my promise sooner, but this is a beginning, the part where I first heard the term Head Walkers and Heart Warriors. And this time I promise to continue. It was a sunny Monday morning in July when I remembered my friend Wendy's request on the weekend, that I send a copy of my blog post, Messenger , to her mother, Lois. I printed it off and carefully folded it into an envelope. I walked into our small post office and handed the envelope to my friend, Laurie, the village postmaster. "This is going to Scotland," I said, just as an older man with grey hair pulled back into a po...

One recent Saturday, I drove to St. Mary's to celebrate the Heritage Day festivities with my daughter. By then I was well into another journey, the search for a peaceful heart. I had started the two and a half hour drive, early, choosing a route that avoided highways and had just driven through Beeton when the crossing lights up ahead signalled that a train was coming. I slowed to a stop and watched the hypnotic stream of boxcars, a seemingly endless graffiti gallery, gently swaying by on their way. A random surprise art exhibit. As I drove through the village of Hockley, listening to CBC Radio, the bluesy voice of Canadian jazz artist, Laila Biali kept me company and set me bopping in my seat with her song,  Queen of Hearts .   Along one of the back roads after leaving the town of Orangeville, a big white tent stood in a field with a sign at the gate saying, "Gospel Meeting. All Welcome." The word "gospel," comes from an old English word with two ...

My father called me Twinkle Toes as a child, but I was not the light-footed fairy that nick-name might conjure up. I dropped, broke, or tripped over, whatever was in my path. As I grew up, I resisted this part of my identity, not wanting it to define me. I thought I had succeeded but didn't realise that if an inner state doesn't change, its symptoms can present differently, but they don't go away--they are red flags, waiting for someone to pay attention. When they were younger, two of our granddaughters lived with their parents in our basement apartment. Tori told me one day that she always knew who was walking around upstairs by our footsteps, "Your steps are fast, Omie. Grandad's steps are slow and loud." I laughed and agreed with her. I walked everywhere fast and even broke into a run for no good reason besides getting to my destination more quickly. Walking with someone who walked at a stroll was hard for me. I had to will myself to slow down and curb...

It was just over a week ago that I looked at the massive amount of emails piled up in my in-box at work and decided that I had to do something about them.  Over the next several days I spent time sorting; responding;  filing and deleting-- until finally--pristine, dazzling white space stared back at me from my computer screen. Ever since that splendid moment of triumph, I have waged a daily battle to hang on to it. Partly because it has been such a busy summer at work, I found that I had no energy to write. I was even beginning to wonder if my well of inspiration had dried up--was my season to write, over? It felt to me; not only about writing, but about a few other things too; as though God had pressed the "pause" button.  Just like my father, who in gentlemanly fashion always walked on the side closest to the traffic when we were out together, and when were about to cross the street, put his arm across my chest like the barrier at a railroad crossing, holding me...

By Belinda This afternoon we got together for our inaugural meeting, we four struggling with anger. I had Kerri Jean's updated version of tips for dealing with anger as a discussion resource.  I knew that what I had to share today was a work in process, and that there is a lot of excellent material out there that is more sophisticated; I just didn't have it at my fingertips. But the most important thing today was not anything written on paper; it was the readiness of our hearts to engage in learning peace; a worthy topic, guaranteed to keep us together with lots to do for a while to come.  We started first with prayer. It seemed like a very good idea to us all to invite God into the group with us. Then we batted around thoughts on what to call ourselves. "Anger Management Group," proffered one person. Another started singing, "I've got peace like a river." "That's a song," said someone else, "We're looking for a name....

By Belinda My colleague, Kerri Jean Winterler, put some thought into making the words of Peace 101, simpler yet! . Our little anger support group is meeting this afternoon. We are excited about learning better ways to deal with anger together. God uses all things redemptively, doesn't he? Thank you Kerri Jean, (and here is her version:) When people disagree and one is angry, talking will make the anger bigger. The angry person may say things that make you mad. Now two people are mad. If you explain or defend yourself, your anger will increase/get worse.  When you do this, you are trying to control the other person.  When both of you are arguing, you are trying to control each other. You want the other person to feel or think the same way as you or do what you want. When we are yelled at, or blamed, we try to explain ourselves. By doing this, we are trying to make the other person agree with us.  When we talk back to someone who is angry, it only ...

By Belinda The other day, when I was talking to my friends from upstairs at work, about better ways to deal with anger, I grabbed my well worn copy of  Diffusing Anger and Avoiding Feeding the Flames   by Margaret Paul, Ph.D., and told them how it helped me. "Read it to me," they each said, and I did, paraphrasing to make it easier to understand for people with developmental disabilities, trying to put it in plain language.  When one man said that some of the words were still too difficult, I promised him that I would try to write the main points in simple words for him--and me. I'm going to have a shot at it here. When people disagree and one is angry, saying ANYTHING will  feed the anger and make it grow. The angry person may say things that make you mad. Now two people are mad. Your own anger grows as you defend yourself and try to control the other person. Both of you are now trying to control the other person's behaviour, feelings or views. When we are ...

By Belinda It was during Sunday's worship practice that I turned to Frances, who had moved last Friday to the house of her dreams in the country, and said, "I don't know where you are any more!" She understood immediately what I meant; my sense of disconnection; not knowing where to place her in my thoughts. I had seen the photos of the house on Face Book, but it wasn't like seeing the house in context of its surroundings. "Come and see it after church," said Frances and included Susan in the invitation and on the spur of the moment we took her up on her invitation. Frances and Brian had moved from a home that they had made beautiful, in a subdivision in Alliston, but both of them longed for the country and wide open spaces. A next door neighbour with a penchant for noisy hot tub parties that went into the wee small hours added to the sense of urgency. When they found the house in Mansfield, 20 minutes from their home in Alliston they fell ...

By Belinda I was distracted and worried about something this weekend and couldn't write, like I used not to be able to eat if I was stressed about something. I realize what a measure of my inner state writing is, and how wonderful it was today, as the burden on my heart began to lift somewhat, to hear myself "writing in my head" again, as I normally do. I knew I was "back." Please don't worry about me now, just in case you might. :) I am okay, and my worries were all about someone else--well, several "some-ones" actually--and you'd think I'd know better by now but my brain worried about all three of them all night long and now they've had their ration of my thinking time. I know I should have done a much better job of turning them over to God. But I kept turning them over to him, over and over again, all night long. :) The weather here in Ontario has been as topsy-turvy as my heart. Yesterday morning we drove to church in a stiff w...

By Belinda Fridays with Susan will have to wait, please be patient dear readers, she will be back! This week has been....well, it has been over the top around her house. Along with completely reorganizing her home, and a very busy time at work, Susan helped birth her 11th grandchild. It was a long hard labour, but in the end, Abby and Ben held little Logan in their arms and knew that they would never, ever, stop loving this child. Everything changed in that moment, forever. So, it's me again tonight, tapping away in the wee hours, and thinking of the gold drenched saffron day that God blessed us with. And I think of the dear friend who sat opposite me as I led the cell group study tonight and who fell sound asleep in her wing backed chair. Her only concern was whether she had snored. "I felt like I landed on a soft cloud tonight at your place," she said. Sometimes we need a soft cloud to land on, a place of utter relaxation; still waters; a place for restoring...

I give thanks today for that amazing gift: the gift of "praying through to peace." You can go to God with a heart full of discouragement; disappointment; expectations unmet, or a bad case of "grass is greener on the other side of the fence" syndrome; and through the simple act of being still in his presence he performs the miracle of displacement and replacement. I don't know how, but I am so thankful that he: Smoothes out wrinkled brows Reminds us of what is true Thwarts the maneuvers of the enemy Reorients our focus away from self Replaces selfishness with love And cleans out the gunk that clogs up the wheels of hearts! Isaiah 9:6 (New International Reader's Version) 6 A child will be born to us. A son will be given to us. He will rule over us. And he will be called Wonderful Adviser and Mighty God. He will also be called Father Who Lives Forever and Prince Who Brings Peace.

I lit a candle of vanilla scent. Its sweetness and warmth hung in the air; the light flickered and shimmered as I sat, quiet before him. Tonight we had a wordless communion; like that had with good friends, with whom sitting in silence is comfortable, and comforting somehow. It felt good just to "be." There was no need to say a word; he knows it all. The words wouldn't come anyway, I was struck silent;quietened. A great peace filled me. Strange, because I needed his wisdom on something. I didn't need to fight for it though, just rest in him and know that I had it because I had him. My friend Marilyn wrote today at A Good a Day as Any about the waiting of Advent and how we are waiting still, for him to step into our world today; into the issues that face us and in which we seek his will and ways. She ended her post with the words: Because He still steps in. Yes, he does, if only we wait...Perhaps that was why I was wordless and stilled. I had only to wait...and Advent ...

By Belinda I listened to the missionary on furlough from Africa. Once we sent men and women there, bearing Good News--a gospel that frees. Now we need that gospel again; proclaimed with soul disturbing power, so that we fall to our knees in recognition that we have far to go in our journey yet. "Are you busy running here and there and missing the person God wants you to connect with?" he asked. He spoke of wrong priorities and inflexible schedules. I put up my hand in my heart. My mind wandered to our family's trip to the movies a couple of weeks ago to see Jim Carey's version of A Christmas Carol--in 3D. Brenda had taken the girls the previous week and although they were mightily scared by Marley's ghost and the spirits of Christmas, they loved the movie and they wanted to go again and take their grandparents with them. At first I said regretfully that I couldn't afford an evening out, I had so much to do. But when I heard that they were going to the 5 o'...

By Belinda Isn't it funny how when God is on the move in an area of a person's life, everything seems to connect and reinforce the work in some way? My seemingly endless quest to declutter our house has been ongoing for weeks, but I have been relentless. And out of chaos, a beautiful order is emerging...and space... The space brings with it restfulness and tranquility. There is room for people to move around; space to get things out and use and put away again, because they all have a place where they belong that is neat and orderly; not cluttered. Nearly everything in our house now has a purpose or value. It is earning its keep in some way in our lives; not just "taking up space." I have been steadily giving away stuff that no longer has a purpose to me, and delighting in seeing someone else pick it up; knowing that they will enjoy using it for a season in their lives. A couple of weeks ago at our work leadership conference (the one which was the genesis of the Great ...

By Belinda (Meg has not been able to post today, so I am posting Sunday's post early. Perhaps, God needed this message to be here for someone today. Blessings friends.) Hold the line "To maintain the existing position or state of affairs" I leaned over Paul, who sat in the window seat, and strained to see what he was pointing out to me--the C.N. Tower and Lake Ontario, then the streets with which we are so familiar. In other words: "home." It was a beautiful, bracingly crisp and sunny, when we flew into Toronto this past Tuesday afternoon. The sky was a cloudless, deep blue, and below us we could see that we had not missed the brilliant fall colours, as the tree tops blazed red, orange and gold. It had been so good to be totally relaxed and luxuriate in family and friend time in England, but now it felt wonderful to be back home. We both had work the next day, and I was up early, still running on British time. It was a good thing, because when I clicked on my au...

From Belinda's archives Psalm 44:3 (New International Version) 3 It was not by their sword that they won the land, nor did their arm bring them victory; it was your right hand, your arm, and the light of your face, for you loved them. As Frances and I continued our conversation on Saturday, about the pressure I felt at the thought of adding Christmas decorating to my "to do" list--she shared a profound insight; "The God that shows us the path, will also show us the pace at which we are to walk." Any runner has to pace himself if he wants to make the finish line. In life there are times when in a burst of focused energy we sprint forward for a period of time, but then we need to drop back to regain energy and strength so that we are ready for the next burst of energy we need to expend. At these times it may look as if we are dropping behind others in the race--but we are running the race with others, not competing against them. In this race our eyes should be on ...

Acts 11:22-23 (New International Version) 22News of this reached the ears of the church at Jerusalem, and they sent Barnabas to Antioch. 23 When he arrived and saw the evidence of the grace of God, he was glad and encouraged them all to remain true to the Lord with all their hearts. "News of this reached the ears of the church." Those words trigger a shudder of recognition in me. Oh, not about news reaching the ears of the church, but about me, when certain things reach my ears. In this case, it was a rumour that the Cypriot and Cyrenian Christian Jews had shared the gospel with Greeks, of whom a great number believed and became Christians. The good news of the gospel was spreading more rapidly than butter on a pile of hot pancakes. I love that when the church got the news of what was happening, they sent a pair of eyes to see what was going on. And what a pair of eyes. Wise eyes. Godly eyes. Their response has the stamp of godliness. Don't react, but search out truth. I...

Song of Solomon 2:4 (Amplified Bible) 4He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love [for love waved as a protecting and comforting banner over my head when I was near him]. Calm returned to my heart as a big task at work was accomplished today. My shoulders grew lighter and laughter returned to my soul! That felt so good. I could relax and feel like a human being instead of that tense ninny who had to apologize to half a dozen people the next day. I noticed those in my immediate vicinity heaving sighs of relief. Was I really so grim and negative? Yes, I know the answer. Tonight five of us sat after dinner, discussing the questions in the study we've been doing on the armour of God as described in Ephesians 6. Our focus was the footwear; the shoes of the gospel of peace. One question was: How did God make peace with you? Paul's answer gave me much food for thought. He spoke of the symbolic custom of breaking bread in the middle east, and how those trick...

Psalm 33:20-22 (New International Version) 20 We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield. 21 In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. 22 May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD, even as we put our hope in you. I had something weighing heavy on my heart this morning, but as I read some psalms, the verses above, from psalm 33, were like soothing ointment, and peace began to return. Next, I went outside and found Paul. He was shovelling gravel into a trench that he'd dug for drainage, trying to eliminate a soggy spot in our garden. It was hot out in the sun and his forehead had burned. He mopped the sweat that ran in rivulets down his cheeks, and sat down on a wall with me, prepared to listen. Even as I unburdened my heart, I knew that I was adding to his load of cares, but I needed him to hear me and he did, halving my worry as he did. "Unburden;" how aptly we apply that word to sharing a worry with someone e...

1 Chronicles 28:9 (New International Version) 9 "...for the LORD searches every heart and understands every motive behind the thoughts..." Small meannesses ; they weigh heavily on a soul. And so I carried them with me like twin lead pellets in my heart over the last couple of days. The natural world around me distracted me and drew my gaze. I marveled at the brown collars of earth appearing in the snow at the base of tree trunks. I wondered at the sound of the mighty wind of yesterday, sister to the rain that fell on heads and homes and ground. They blew and washed away the snow from the fields and ditches with icy breath and fingers. The fields shimmered with puddles that mirrored the sky. There is no time like this, when the land is emerging from the cold white of winter and the earth is greening. There is so much to see, and revel in and wonder at and admire. But all the time I was waiting. I needed, I longed for, Confession; and in the busyness of Tuesday and Wednesday, I...