Missing Her
By Belinda
It took me by surprise. I was on Facebook, checking out my nephew John's page to see what was up in his life; laughing at the photo of him in the kitchen chopping carrots and thinking of when I was last with him there for a delicious meal. I scrolled through more photos and suddenly she was there...only she isn't any more...
Seeing her made me catch my breath, like bumping into someone unexpectedly. Knowing that she isn't here...I miss her.
Last week when I talked to Rob, he was missing her too. The reality that she is gone is hitting and so is grief. I knew it would in its own time.
I'm still so very grateful, for all that she was to us, for God's tender care of her in her dying. But oh, there is an empty seat, an empty flat, and arms that long to hug her one more time.
It took me by surprise. I was on Facebook, checking out my nephew John's page to see what was up in his life; laughing at the photo of him in the kitchen chopping carrots and thinking of when I was last with him there for a delicious meal. I scrolled through more photos and suddenly she was there...only she isn't any more...
Seeing her made me catch my breath, like bumping into someone unexpectedly. Knowing that she isn't here...I miss her.
Last week when I talked to Rob, he was missing her too. The reality that she is gone is hitting and so is grief. I knew it would in its own time.
I'm still so very grateful, for all that she was to us, for God's tender care of her in her dying. But oh, there is an empty seat, an empty flat, and arms that long to hug her one more time.
Comments
Yes - it did get "better" - in that the screaming of loss dulled to a whisper over time. But - I don't think it every really goes away - just changes.
I heard once that the greater the love, the greater the loss. I have found that true. One less person that knew you, one less person that loved you, one less person to pray for you - great, great loss.
May the Holy Spirit comfort you and fill the hole ever so gently with all the loving and light memories.
Oh - and don't let anyone tell you how to mourn - everyone has their own way and their own time.
Blessings...
Anonymous I truly agree that the price of loving much is the much depth of loss, but oh, I wouldn't trade the loving, and being loved, for the world. I send my own love to you for your loss--and a big hug.
Jane
Oh, I so get this. Thinking of you. Grief runs its own course according to its own timetable. All we can do is ride along with it. I treasure my grief journeys, the places they take me.
And one of them (who was 12 when her grandma passed away)said, "I miss her too. Still."
And that was almost 25 years ago now.
Some spaces that are left are just too big to ever be filled... {{{Hugs}}}