The experience of sudden illness, taught me a few valuable lessons; and one of them was to relinquish my own agenda.
Some of us are goal driven creatures with personal agendas constantly running throughout working and personal lives and our conversations.
While in hospital, I thought more than once of Jesus' prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane: Not my will but yours, be done.
Those words are there in the Lord's Prayer too: Thy will be done, and the verses below highlight the attitude of Christ--complete dependence on the Father's will.
John 5:19-20 (New International Version)
19 Jesus gave them this answer: "I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does. 20 For the Father loves the Son and shows him all he does. Yes, to your amazement he will show him even greater things than these.
Jesus lived his life as the ultimate example of submission to the Father. In his letter to the Philippians, Paul reminds us to imitate Christ:
1If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.
In hospital I missed an annual writer's conference that I have looked forward to eagerly, each year since 2000 when I attended it for the first time. I also had to cancel a flight to England where I had planned to spend two weeks.
I had no choice about relinquishing these things; the decisions were out of my hands. I learned though, that I can trust God's agenda completely.
I feel like a baby, holding onto her daddy's hand, learning to walk new steps. Can I walk in obedience and surrender when the power to choose is mine?
How I want to, Lord. Thy will be done, not mine!