Friday, June 05, 2009

Midnight Wrestlings and Morning Revelation

I am thinking about the words of Jesus tonight. Some of his very last words here on earth:

Forgive them for they know not what they do.

I always thought that was referring only to the fact that those crucifying Jesus had no idea that he was the son of God, very God of very God. And I thought it was very big of him, to say the least. Very big of him.

But tonight I am thinking of those words in my own context. I'm thinking that almost always, the people who most need my forgiveness have no idea that they do! And they have no understanding of what it is they've done. And I'm thinking that it's kind of odd, then, if Jesus could forgive like that, without explaining what he's forgiving them for, then why is it so important for me that people understand what they have done to me?

(I feel like there's a big piece of "self" here about to topple in me...)

Jesus didn't have to say, "Do you folks realize what you are doing to me? Do you realize that you are crucifying your saviour? The One who LOVES you???"

Well, if Jesus didn't have to say that, why do I think I have to make people understand?

I don't. Well, I don't if I can entrust them and the situation, and me in it, to the Father. Can he really sort it all out? That's the crux, isn't it? Do I really trust him to be able to sort it all out? Do I really believe that he can/wants to/will?

Tonight, after cell group, Belinda and I sat and talked over a second cup of coffee. Her mum came up, as she often does, into our conversation. I can't remember Belinda's exact words but she said something like, "Mum doesn't hold onto the things when people hurt her. She just loves them..."

I think Mum and Jesus have a lot in common. And I think I want to be more like them too.

Lord, I believe! Help thou my unbelief!

Addendum:
As the sunlight poked at me from my east bedroom window this morning, and with the twitter and chirps of birds in the background, I stirred and immediately began to mull over what I'd written last night and kind of lay it before the Lord and I came to a more full understanding. This morning I need to add a little:

Jesus forgave those who "knew not what they did" - everyone - no strings attached and no need for them to understand what they were doing. But those who gain RELATIONSHIP with him, do need to come to an understanding of what they have done and how it has hurt him. There is really no basis for a relationship until we do. The deeper we go in that understanding, the deeper also goes our relationship with him.

So in grappling out those things, understanding flows and relationship grows. And it's all based in grace... The grace has to be first, though. Under and in and through it all... Grace. Then understanding. Then relationship. It's all grace.

6 comments:

Night Owl said...

I loved your post Susan.
I think the reason we need people to understand what they should feel sorry for is that we don't want to be hurt by them again, especially not in the exact same way. On one hand it's not our job to teach them, but on the other, we are all perpetual learners, and teaching is one of the best ways to learn.
I've been thinking about the same thing a lot lately. There is probably a certain amount of responsibility we do need to take to teach others what we know of Jesus' ways, but I'm sure also that He would pick up what we gave to Him in prayer.
Thanks for the great post. :)

Brenda said...

When you retire......you should take up a second career....pastor....counselor.....life coach. Maybe you should do that now before you burn yourself out in your current job!

Belinda said...

A lot of pondering going on there my friend. A lot for we readers to ponder too. I must admit that it seems exhausting to think of all the relationships I have and how it would be if I had to unravel them all and fully understand how I've hurt everybody. I might sink under the weight of it. Do you think that Jesus brings to our mind those things that we need to understand and repent of a little at a time? Maybe that is what happens through entrusting it to him and that is how he takes care of that trust. He does it with grace and gentleness and in a way that open hearts can bear.

Susan said...

Yes, I'm still struggling this through...

When I wrote this the other night, though, I was thinking about one particular situation that is really troubling me (and has nothing to do with you, aren't you glad?) I would go crazy too thinking I had to unravel EVERYTHING with EVERYONE... But when it's something that significantly affects your relationship that is really important to you, and your trust in that relationship and in that person, I think love dictates that you tackle it together. Sometimes, at least. I guess it's about intimacy. Some things can (and should!)be let go, but there are some important things - not so much.

Mostly, I think, it's just coming to an understanding of the other persons' heart. It's not that anyone has to change or repent - they just have to "understand" - both parties need to understand. When they do, the rest follows... And love conquers all! (I think! :) )

Susan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Joanna Mallory said...

Susan, there's a lot to chew on and ponder here. So simple and yet so complex. I hear truth in what you're saying, and I pray for clear leading and much grace in the particular situation. You've left me with a lot to think about....