Monday, August 13, 2007

Debra

John 14:3 (New International Version)
3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.

I found another name on the page of today's Daily Light--and remembered Debra.

Today would have been her birthday, but on the day several years ago, that I shared the reading with her, I had taken my Daily Light with me to the palliative care unit of the hospital where I had gone to visit her.

She was dying of cancer, but fighting every step, every breath of the way--for life.

A young mother of four and a pastor's wife, this wasn't supposed to be happening.

I opened the Daily Light to read the verses for her birthday, because often I've found something significant to the person on "their special day." It's as if God put it there, especially for them--a special gift, as if to say, "I know you--I love you."

But as I began to read the verses, which I hadn't read ahead of time, tears flowed down her cheeks--tears of sorrow. The verses weren't verses of overcoming or of healing, but all told of another place than earth. They also spoke of the fruitfulness of a life and they ended with Isaiah 55:8, For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord.

I tried to encourage her--to get back to where we were before I read the Daily Light, but I wish now that we had had a different conversation.

It's natural that none of us wants to die--God built the desire for life into us. But that day, I believe she needed a friend to help her accept a different reality and that I was the one God sent.

I backed away and moved to a safer, easier place. The weight of responsibility felt too great. I didn't want to be the reason she gave up hope.

Maybe the verses helped prepare her in spite of God's clumsy delivery person. I wish I hadn't run from her tears.


I remember her today on her birthday--a gentle, beautiful woman, of courage, strength and faith.


Hebrews 13:14 (New International Version)
14 For here we do not have an enduring city, but we are looking for the city that is to come.

3 comments:

Dave Hingsburger said...

remember your locket ... she might have, for the moment, been lost ... but undoubtably she's been found

Belinda said...

Thank you Dave, and she surely is--more securely "found" than we can imagine!

Leann said...

when my grandma was nearing the end of her life.
she said to me "I wonder what is is like to die?"
I said I dont know granny but Ill pray about it.
that night in my prayer time as I lay on my bed, just being still to hear the Lord.
He said deep in my spirit."its like stepping from one room to the next,or like going through a door way"..
I called granny the next day and told her.she said it comforted her.
when she was only hour,s away from being with Jesus I said "granny let go,its by far better there then being here.we will be ok."

it was the last time I seen her here on earth.I wished I had been able to go with her.I remember what paul said.that he wresled
rather to go or stay,it was better for the followers if he stayed for a while.so he choose to stay.
for over 11 years I have wresled with the same thing.rather to go and be with Jesus or to stay cause he still needs me here.
I have choose life to let him use me.but I will be honest I have asked him many times to leave this old messed up world.
I miss those who have gone before.
I have more there now then here.

the flower is the sweetest smelling when by chance it were to be crushed.the rose the fairest of them all.Jesus is the rose..
God bless your words and the work of your hands.and reach many for his kingdom.
(((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))
:)