Mother's Day

I had a conversation with a friend recently who is a perfect example of the winding-road that human connections can take, and who is as head-over-heels in love with the child she calls. “daughter.” as she would be if she had given birth to her. She just celebrated that child’s first birthday, a child who came into her life as suddenly and unexpectedly as a snowstorm in a desert.

 Out of curiosity, I asked her, “How has your life changed since she burst onto the stage of your life?” Her big blue eyes locked onto my green ones, her lips pursed as she considered the question. She is hardly ever at a loss for words, or in need of thinking time before answering, but she has been on such a magic-carpet ride since her granddaughter’s birth that she hasn’t had time to take stock, or do anything more than experience the journey, one moment at a time.

 “In every way!” she said, recovering her speech quickly.  “Everything is about her. Everything I do is for her. If she’s awake, I will spend the precious moments with her. If she’s asleep, I’ll get my hair washed and dried.” I noticed that she was wearing a baseball cap.

She went on, “I’m always aware that I only have ‘this moment’ for sure.” From the moment she first learned of her surprise grandchild’s imminent arrival, she has lived with uncertainty. It is a hard gift, but a gift, nonetheless. Unwrapped and accepted, it means that she lives with focused love and attention directed towards this child, fully present with her. But that her heart is so open means it is also open to the potential of sudden heartbreak—that’s the risk that comes with every bond of love.

 My friend remembers a particular day when she played with her dolls and wished her mother would stop working and play with her, but her mother chose to do the dusting instead—task over the relationship. That memory shapes how she loves now—prioritizing the relationship. She pointed out the truth that we can always get more money, but never more time, and grandmothers know how fast a childhood passes. 

So let's cherish the moments. Put people first, especially the little ones. Show grace to those who’ve failed us, and use their failures and our own to be better and do better. Show kindness to ourselves; for we are all imperfect beings. On this day we can easily feel inadequate--but let's just feel human.



Happy Mother’s Day!

Comments

arils and castles said…
What a beautiful reminder to live grace and kindness - Happy Mother's Day Belinda.
8:49 PM
Belinda said…
Dear Nicole, my friend, Happy Mother's Day to you, too!! And thank you.
9:19 PM
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