Tonight I dug out my journal for those months in 2002. My trip to England in October was both painful and healing. I was reading Philip Yancey's book, What is So Amazing About Grace? during my weeks there, and it helped set me free from anger and unforgiveness. I will be forever grateful for that.
I don't think I can write about the back story to all of that as it is so very personal and hard to expose; it doesn't feel right. Maybe I will find a way sometime in the future to put it into words in a way that will add value to whomever reads it, but at this point I think it would just be depressing and I don't want to do that to people! I would rather that you came here and got cheered up.
But I do want to share what Mum wrote on her 76th birthday, on December 15th, 2002, because in it she wrote about my friend Susan, who you all know. Mum had met her during her own visits to Canada and she loved her. Here is what she wrote:
Hi! I've missed a few days here and there, but that's not important. I enjoyed my birthday very much! I have enjoyed all my phone calls so much. Susan's call was such a lovely surprise. She's just priceless. :) I felt so close to her and all of you and all of our lovely friends. Susan is special though and I don't mind to lend my stick to her anytime :) (Susan had hurt her ankle while Mum was in Canada once, and Mum had loaned her, her walking stick!) I hope she won't need it though! Deborah phoned as well as Auntie Corry, Adrie, Lijda, Mies and Uncle Jan and Dicky. And of course your lovely call, and Susan's. I felt so spoilt. :) I suppose you have to feel that way on your birthday....I am glad at least, that Mum has been shared in a way that was different from the past few years, in which she herself was unable to say much verbally, and was yet was still a joy to be with and spoke in other ways to the world.
Stay tuned for whatever comes next! :)