Skip to main content

The Journey

By Belinda

When Mum died, four months ago, our pastoral department at work sent out the first of four small books. They arrive at carefully spaced out periods, and are designed to help a person process grief. This is a link to the website where the books can be ordered. .Stephen Ministries--Journeying Through Grief I will be ordering a set to keep in case someone else needs this wonderful resource; I am already passing on my own set to a friend who lost her mother just after I lost mine.

I've found that writing here about Mum has also been therapeutic, and it's been a place to capture memories and feelings.

On July 17 Paul and I will fly to England to spend two weeks with my brother Rob. When I went in March for Mum's funeral, we still had possession of her flat, and I stayed there while helping to dismantle and close up her home, a place that was filled with her special presence. Being part of the process was helpful.

Each time I've chatted with Rob since, I've asked about the person who moved into her flat. I need to know the details! His name is Rob, and he's in his early 60's, a single man. I know that he has to feel the happiness and peace in that place.

I've been thinking about arriving in Alvechurch this time. I sent our itinerary to Rob this week as he doesn't do email, and with it I sent a note saying how I would love to be able to go up to her front door and open it, then find her home as it was. I wish I could walk down her hallway and open the door to the room where I would find her sitting, waiting, and see her bright eyes shining with love as she reached up her arms to receive the hug I'd be giving. 

As we would get close to leaving for England we would chat, and if I mentioned that it was only so many weeks or days until we came, she would say with a laugh, "Oh, I mustn't think about it!" It would all be just too exciting.

It would be so wonderful to put the kettle on for a cup of tea together, knowing that all she asked for was our presence and that she was filled with joy at having that.

I need to feel the grief of the loss of these past treasured moments, even as we look forward to making new memories with Rob, and joining him upstairs in his flat.


swissdebbie said…
Hi Belinda, it will be hard and painful not to see her there and knowing someone else is in the flat...
Please thank Robert for sending H.Robert a birthday card with his birth anouncement in it, so amazing that your mum kept this al these years...and that you found it!
hugs, Deb
Susan said…
{{{ Hugs }}}
Belinda said…
Dear Deb, I sure will pass on that message to Rob. I think that H. Robert may have even called him from Holland to thank him. I was sorry not to have been organized enough to send H.R. a card for his 60th birthday. I was thinking of him that day.
Belinda said…
Susan, thanks for the hug. I'm so glad you had a chance to be in that flat, even without Mum being there, in March.
Susan said…
Mum wasn't there? That's funny... call me weird, but I sensed her presence everywhere.

Popular posts from this blog

Just Joy!

Our family has a standing date for Sunday dinner on the first Sunday of every month. Not that we don't see each other at any other time, but we all know that particular Sunday is pretty much for sure--and I look forward to it so much--the front door bursting open and our house being filled once more with the voices and vibrancy of six grandchildren and their parents. 

This week Spero, Brenda's new Australian Shepherd puppy came too, and met his extended family, leaving Molson at home to have a rest! He was duly adored by all of us.

He came with a dazzling array of toys and is proving a fast learner, already sitting on command and responding to Tori's training. I was so impressed at her technique of quickly rewarding a turnaround from any slight naughtiness with praise for "good sitting," or "good" any other desirable behaviour! 

Tippy had her hair cut stunningly and bravely short the day before; making a statement about who she is as a unique individual, o…

The Secret Adventures of Susan's Scottish Scarf

By Belinda (with a lot of help from Susan :))
I was saying goodnight to her at the front door this week when she told me. There was apparently more to the scarf around her neck than I knew. 
The scarf had been a gift from me for Susan's birthday on Tuesday December 18th. It had been her 60th; and that day I had treated her to lunch to celebrate. 
We met at a tiny restaurant, Port Soiree, in Schomberg,near her office. It was a restaurant neither of us had been to before and it turned out to be a gem, with artsy ambiance, amazing food, wonderful service and modest pricing. In other words, it was perfect!