Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Stormy Emotional Weather

By Belinda

Psalm 4:4
Amplified Bible (AMP)
4Be angry [or stand in awe] and sin not; commune with your own hearts upon your beds and be silent (sorry for the things you say in your hearts). Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]!(A)

This verse, especially the Amplified Bible version; gives good food for thought. If only I did more of the "pausing" and "calmly thinking," recommended here!

A quote by Steven Covey, was mentioned in a training I took recently and it has stuck in my mind. It gives me so much hope in my own struggles and for those of others.

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In those choices lie our growth and our happiness.” 
― Steven Covey

I've been trying recently to work through an issue and get my heart into right order--even trying to figure out what "right order is" in the situation. Meanwhile, a couple of the people who live in the group home in which I have my downstairs office, seemed to be yelling at one another every afternoon last week, until there was a mighty crescendo on Friday afternoon, involving crashing glass and a cold breeze blowing in through a window. 

Today, we talked, the people upstairs and I. And I was grateful, because as individually, I chatted with them, figuring out together what went wrong last week, and coming up with a plan to deal with anger better next time, I was talking to myself as well. Relationships are hard work, but having acknowledged that we knew it was worth the work. And no one enjoyed the unsettled weather of last week. 

There is an article by Margaret Paul, Ph.D., that I found somewhere years ago and which recently resurfaced during a clean up:Diffusing Anger and Avoiding Feeding the Flames. Reading it again reminded me of the wisdom of loving disengagement and unhooking from a conflict. 

"Between stimulus and response there is a space...and in that space is freedom and power."


Anonymous said...

Wow - you have touched on an area that I have been working on for years. Anger. Studying God's view and my responsibility. It is a tough one. We often feel so justified with our anger - and perhaps we are - but we are also accountable for it and our following actions. It is also good to distinquish between anger and rage. Thanks again - the quote is great!

Dave Hingsburger said...

Anger. That's a tough one. Anger, harnessed, can create social change. Anger, loosed, can wreak havoc. I've experienced both forms. Anger is an emotion that we give thanks for, but its one that we have to be careful of ... suppressing it may be the most damaging things we do, but giving in is damaging too ... yikes. Anger. I'm glad of it's role in my life, I just wish it wasn't such a frequent guest.

Brave Raven said...

The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.
Proverbs 18:20-22

See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction.
Deuteronomy 30:14-16

These verses instantly came to mind as I thought about how difficult it is to choose life in that "space." Once again Belinda, your transparency has brought me to a very humble place. Gulp!

Belinda said...

Just being able to write here; share the journey "in process" is a blessing to me. We work out;work through; and work in; God's ways to our lives--together. I love the back and forth discussion and thoughts shared here.