Saturday, January 01, 2011

Life Story

By Belinda

The sign said, "Book Sale $1.00 Each." I had left home to run a few errands and one of them was a stop at the library to return some audio books. The sign drew me from my purpose like an ice cream parlour on a hot day. If I never buy another book as long as I live I will not run out of reading material, but I couldn't pass by without looking.

As I picked up a book to leaf through, a man on the opposite side of the table said, "These are mine." He patted a pile of 8 or 10 books that he had collected to establish that they were taken. I smiled and said that I wouldn't touch them. "Isn't this great though?" I said, "What a good opportunity."

He said, "Yes, I'm retired since March, with lots of time to read. I used to work--too much." And he laughed as if I might know what he meant by that.

His voice was cultured, with a hint of the Caribbean; warm and charming. He wore a knitted Nordic style hat and a thick coat. I was curious and asked what kind of work he had done before he retired.

"Well, I'd be happy to sit down and talk to you about that some time," he said.

He told me that he was staying at a local seniors residence while he sorted his life out, that he had a daughter of 51 and a son of 49. He seemed lonely, like someone who had lost their moorings somewhere along the way, and my curiosity deepened. I love listening to people's stories.

I suggested meeting at the library sometime or in the lounge at the seniors residence, but he said he'd found a coffee shop in town where he loved to go, and would I like to meet there for coffee? Before I knew it he was writing his name in my notebook; I gave him my number, and we had a date for the next morning.

When I told Susan, Brenda and Paul that I was having coffee with a man I'd met in the library, their responses made me think twice. Was I giving him the wrong impression? Possibly; and I reconsidered the wisdom of being so impulsive, but wise or not, I had made a commitment and it didn't feel right to go back on it.

So, the next day I arrived at the coffee shop ready to listen. The place is a popular meeting place in town and it was bustling with people. I scanned the booths and comfortable armchairs looking for the man but couldn't see him so I bought a tea and found a vacant table to wait at.

We spotted each other at the same time and waved. He made his way over to me and sat down. He had made been in the thrift shop across the road, which made him a few minutes late.

I bought a bowl of soup and he bought an egg and cheese bagel. I said, "It seems like you might be a regular here," and he laughed and admitted that he was.

Along with his coat he carried a dusty, hard sided black briefcase, which he laid on the seat beside him. As we began our lunch, I asked him about himself and how he came to be in town.

I noticed that this time he told me he had a son of 51 and a daughter of 49; the ages he'd told me the day before were reversed. Neither of them lived close by. His wife and he had divorced, "amicably" he said, after being married for 27 years--he told me that he had "succumbed" to his work. He was 78 and had worked in his own business until the spring of this year when he said that the recession forced him to wind it down, but I guessed that there may have been other factors that contributed.

He had closed up his home and put his library and other belongings into storage lockers just outside of our town and it was after travelling up and down to spend time at the storage lockers with his books and other stuff that he decided to check out the town and consider whether he might like to live here. And that is how he came to be here; he moved to be near his storage lockers.

"Where did you live before?" I asked.

The answer evaded him. He reached for his briefcase and said, "I will give you something to look at. It should have an address on it." He rummaged through the briefcase and handed me a plastic covered collection of yellow edged letters written by him when a project manager in the field of industrial lighting, 18 years ago.

As I leafed through the pages I admitted that the technical language was foreign to me. Some were proposals for projects. But they told me things about him--what he had done and where he had lived, for we found an address in the letterhead of one document.

He was a man of innate dignity and courtesy with wiry grey hair and beard and eyes that were slightly clouded. Although he was a healthy 78, age  was showing in subtle ways that became more evident as we talked although he was a good listener and conversationalist.

I thought about the importance of what people give their lives to. My friend from the library had the gifts of skill, intelligence and education and had given life to his to his work, a choice that he admitted and didn't seem to regret. But here he was in a strange town with a only a storage locker of belongings and a briefcase that held his life's story.

I looked at my watch and realized that the time was slipping by. I needed to get home.

"Maybe we could do this again sometime?" he said.

I thought of Paul's caution and said, "Well, maybe we will meet again in the library."

I left considering what holds value and is worth investing in. Because no matter how vigorous our health, life winds down, and what we invested in is what will be there in the end.

7 comments:

Marilyn said...

OH my...picking up men in libraries now.....my my my ;-)

A fitting end-of-one-year-beginning-of-another post, so many of us thinking and reevaluating.

I spend a lot of time with older people now (and, of course, am not that far removed from it myself) and think a lot about what remains at the end, about legacy, about the dwindling away of so much. Big thought-swirls there. Have I invested well? Am I now? It's easy to spend an entire life living by default, never making choices. Or overlooking the little opportunities in relationship and service because we are always waiting for the big, big thing.

May God be in our reflections and guide our steps and choices!

Belinda said...

"Picking up men in libraries" is exactly what Paul said. :)

As for your prayer at the end of the comment Marilyn, amen.

Happy New Year! May God bless you and yours!

Dave Hingsburger said...

Remember, DB, that the first impulse from the heart is probably the best measure of what's right to do. You didn't sense danger, and there was no danger. In making kindness a 'default position' you will have so many opportunties to do something beautiful. You did something beautiful here. I think that's what the phrase, 'a willing heart' means.

Susan said...

I have to agree with Dave, even if my first (regrettable) impulse was to ask, "Was he hitting on you?" :)

Anonymous said...

Dear Quilla-The line ``I thought about the importance of what people give their lives to.`-Wow.The line keeps resonating in my head.What am I giving my life to?What do I expend energy doing and is it important?What makes it important?I am a perfectionist and a control freak (it's OK, I've known for a while),so I already know that much of what I do,isn't REALLY important-only to me.I guess,what I'm saying is,when Jesus is one's Importance Measuring Stick,one will do things like picking up lonely old men;)in libraries and listen to their stories and not spend as much time as one does putting the packets of sweetner in little rectangular bowls all right-side up and facing forward.W.W.J.D.-I should get it tattoed on my arm!Poppy

Belinda said...

Oh, Poppy, you are perfect being you! But you are right that thinking about what we give our lives to is a truly important thing--and this, the start of a fresh, new year, is a perfect excuse for doing so. :)

Theresa said...

My first thought was Hebrews 13:2
It is sad we live in a world where we have to be hypervigilant, but it is what it is. You probably made that mans day.

As for the comment by "anonymous", I never would have taken you for a control freak:) LOL about the sweetener packets.....I do that with towels!!