Sunday, May 10, 2009

Mother's Day


I am a mother.
I sometimes wound as well as heal.
I unintentionally sometimes inflict guilt--and knowingly, as well as unwittingly, cross boundaries.
I have the terrifying power to crush a heart with a look or a word.
There are days when I feel more like a toxic waste dump of generational junk than the ideal woman of Proverbs 31.
Motherhood humbles me. I find myself doing and saying things I was sure I would never do or say.
I regret, repent and cannot forgive myself for some mistakes.
Motherhood drives me to my knees before God.
It fills my heart with a love that is a physical ache sometimes.
I am overwhelmed at knowing that I would be capable of terrible things if anyone threatened my children. The violence of that instinct shocks me.
Motherhood pulls out of me my best and sometimes my worst.
And sometimes I wonder how God could entrust children to such blundering hands. But he does, and somehow they survive.
And wonder of wonders, they find it in their hearts to love, and forgive, and even demonstrate honour, on days like today.


Meg said...

Thank you for these lovely and honest thoughts, Belinda. They are so helpful, true, and humbling.

Bless your humble and wise heart.

Night Owl said...

But Belinda! You forgot all the wonderful things mothers do!!! :) Like hugs! :)
(Children aren't always so wonderful, either. :P But I suppose the important thing is trying and learning, right?)
hehehe My favourite part of this poem was about the "guilt trips". (Those are actually my least favourite part in real life though.) :)
I like the new blog layout too! :)
Happy Mother's Day! :)

Dave Hingsburger said...


Lovely post!

I'm into exclamation marks today!!!!

Belinda said...

Thanks everyone, and Dave, I'm glad to see that you're fully embracing the emphatic. :)

Angcat said...

I liked this Belinda.
On a day when many cards laud the qualities of the perfect Mother, I know that I fall so short.
So your honest assessment is a release to be an imperfect mother who does mess up sometimes, but loves deeply and grows each day.

Happy Mothers Day my friend and I'm so glad your Mum is coming home so soon.