Saturday, June 28, 2008

Saturday Emails... (Love Lifted Me)

Susan writes:

..there's a big war going on over me. I'm not sure if it's inside me or all around me. I know there's good stuff God put into me, but I feel like there's just too much to fix, you know? Even when I do my best to submit to Him and to allow the conforming process, I still fail miserably. Which wouldn't be so bad if it was just me, but it hurts people. I feel like life is just a series of hurting others and being hurt. Being hurt and hurting others. It cycles over and over and over... I guess I shouldn't try to guess what is too much hurt for other people, should I? I guess it's for them to decide if the good outweighs the bad. You lose some, but you find out eventually who your true friends and companions of the journey are, don't you?

Belinda:

<I guess I shouldn't try to guess what is too much hurt for other people, should I?> There's a lot unsaid between those words, but they are true. A war may be waging, but please don't concede defeat.

Susan:

Concede defeat? Hmmm. That's an option, I suppose...

But where else would I go? What would I do? Jump in the pit? Cover myself with darkness?

The only real option I can see is that I have to try to follow the Good Shepherd and hope that he either waits up for me, or leaves the ninety and nine if needs be and comes back to find me..

It's the only hope I have...

Post Script:

I get up to wash my face. My days of mourning are over.

The south wind blows; the sound of the turtledove can be heard in the land..

I am black but comely and what's that?

I hear the voice of my Beloved...

3 comments:

Belinda said...

The voice of our Beloved...I hear it too, and he never leaves a sheep behind, black or white!

Joyful Fox said...

Oh Susan,

I have been there so many times. My heart understood your words - those of discouragement, despair, and of hope, and promise.

God is so faithful, a comfort in trouble, a shelter, a rock, and the lover of our souls. I am so glad you hear the voice of the Beloved.

Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning,

Love to you. Thanks for being so vulnerable. Perhaps many have been where you are (were) and it'll touch them in ways that bring them once again to HIm.

I many times, of late, have cried that same prayer (lament) as your first one.

We are so fragile without our Beloved but in Him we can be strong.

Angcat said...

If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you..."
Psalm 139:9-12

He is faithful and carries us through those dark places. I thank you too for sharing so honestly my sister. It is in these places that we unknowingly encourage each other to press on.
I love you.