..there's a big war going on over me. I'm not sure if it's inside me or all around me. I know there's good stuff God put into me, but I feel like there's just too much to fix, you know? Even when I do my best to submit to Him and to allow the conforming process, I still fail miserably. Which wouldn't be so bad if it was just me, but it hurts people. I feel like life is just a series of hurting others and being hurt. Being hurt and hurting others. It cycles over and over and over... I guess I shouldn't try to guess what is too much hurt for other people, should I? I guess it's for them to decide if the good outweighs the bad. You lose some, but you find out eventually who your true friends and companions of the journey are, don't you?
<I guess I shouldn't try to guess what is too much hurt for other people, should I?> There's a lot unsaid between those words, but they are true. A war may be waging, but please don't concede defeat.
Concede defeat? Hmmm. That's an option, I suppose...
But where else would I go? What would I do? Jump in the pit? Cover myself with darkness?
The only real option I can see is that I have to try to follow the Good Shepherd and hope that he either waits up for me, or leaves the ninety and nine if needs be and comes back to find me..
It's the only hope I have...
I get up to wash my face. My days of mourning are over.
The south wind blows; the sound of the turtledove can be heard in the land..
I am black but comely and what's that?
I hear the voice of my Beloved...