Thursday, October 18, 2007

Colours and Glass Balls

Proverbs 3:26 New Living Translation
The Lord is your security. He will keep your foot from being caught in a trap.

Last night I couldn't sleep. I hate lying awake in bed, so I got up, got out my laptop and made an Excel time sheet with 7 days, onto which I laid blocks of colour representing the time spent on various parts of my life. I realize that this might sound like an insane thing to do at 1.00 a.m.--or maybe at any time of the day. Welcome to my insanity--ha ha ha!

The colours represented parts that are either necessary, important priorities, or voluntary preferences and sorting my life out into these "blocks," helped me see whether I am trying to do the impossible in my typical everyday life. The good news is that no, I'm not--as long as everything goes according to plan. :) I do know that nothing ever does of course, but it gave me peace of mind to go through this exercise. It also gave me hope.

This had been on my mind, which might have contributed to my lack of sleep.

Yesterday I told Eileen, a friend whom I've known since we were both 12, that I had been taking stock of my life during this quiet time here in England--thinking about how better to manage it.

"But don't you always do that?" she asked. My friends at home who feel compelled to remind me of this fact will be happy that she took up the cause over here! :)

I had to admit that it was true, it's an ongoing struggle for me. "But," I said to her, "I have to believe that I can change; do better."

Our lives are a series of choices. They are ours to make and there is little about which there is no choice.

I read a quote recently by Lesley Stahl (one of the anchors of 60 Minutes) who said that when it comes to juggling things we should never forget that there are glass balls and rubber balls. And the glass balls are the ones you cannot drop--they smash and can't be repaired. So it's not about not dropping the ball--it's about not dropping the wrong ball, the glass ball.

I would like to keep all of the balls in the air. I know that inevitably I will drop a few but I will probably die with my hands trying to catch them.

John 8:32 New Living Translation
And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.


Dave Hingsburger said...

I'm so relieved that you brought it up, I too have noticed your desire to always grow and change and fix various parts of your life. And I sit there in awe because I think you are pretty much 30 miles ahead of me in every direction! I worry that you'll change something that you see as a flaw and the rest of us see as delightful! Oh, and, I've heard of Excel but have no idea what it is so I'll never have the opportunity to sit up at night and graph out my life, so I guess I'll just have to pray that the desire never strikes. LOLOLOLOL

Belinda said...

No fear DF, my hope is just to actually get more than five hours sleep!

Thanks for the nice words.