Everything I Need

"Everything I need." That phrase grabbed me this week. It started with a growing awareness that what I referred to as "a weakness," was actually, sin. The word "weakness" sounds almost endearing and harmless, while "sin," well that sounds so grim! But when it comes to a specific, consistent weakness, God chose this week to wake me up to what it really is.

I don't think that it was a coincidence that the very next day (July 3,) I read in Oswald J. Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest, that moving from a "vague sense of sin" to realizing "the concentration of sin in a particular feature of my life," is a sign of the presence of God.

Another Oswald Chambers quote that is is also encouraging--the changes are not mine to stress over, but God will take care of them:
If the Spirit of God detects anything in you that is wrong, He does not ask you to put it right; He asks you to accept the light, and He will put it right.
Oswald Chambers.
The sin that became clear this week was overspending, specifically on clothes and books. It takes little stimulus for me to buy either and yet I already have more excellent books than I can read in my remaining years (and there are libraries if I run out,) and more clothes than I need, even when pruned as per Marie Kondo to only those I love. These words leaped to the forefront of my mind:
I Already Have Everything I Need

In fact, I wrote it on a piece of paper and posted it on my fridge. Absorbing this truth is my homework assignment from God. Not to do so means accepting greed and waste.

As this phrase began to seep into my soul, I could feel something else shifting. Like when you pull a gift from the layers of tissue in a bag, then find another gift still waiting beneath--an extra surprise! I don't just have all the books and clothes I need. I have EVERYTHING I need! Everything I need to do whatever God calls me to do or be. Friends, just think about that for a minute!

I feel so freed by this thought. Released, for one thing, to write, unhindered by the voice in my head telling me that I have more to learn before I am good enough. That lie has held me captive. It doesn't mean that I don't have more to learn, but I need to learn by doing, while I continue to read and study.

This truth is profound and life-changing. Whatever is holding me back, I have what I need to overcome it.  I have everything I need.

Ephesians 3:20
Exodus 14:13-15
1 Timothy 6:6

Comments

mercygraceword said…
Amen Belinda. I love this song from the 1999 Streams CD:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDFWkIkoK3g

So thankful to see you writing again.
Deborah - (your sister in "semi-retirement") :-)


4:06 PM
Belinda said…
Dear Deborah, It is SO GOOD to hear from YOU! I love the song, thank you for sending the link. And thank you for the writing encouragement. It means so much to get even one comment! Lol!

How are you doing? How are you enjoying retirement or semi-retirement? What are you doing these days? I would love to hear!
4:17 PM
mercygraceword said…
One of my sisters has my mother living with her, and the other four daughters help with support. I still volunteer at the District office, as well as doing occasional office shifts (worked three months from January on til they hired a permanent Admin Clerk); act as an advocate for someone, sit on a seniors housing board, and co-facilitated a women's bible study at my church from October til June. But I'm still waiting for my "calling" :-), and I have made some prayerful inquiries about doing some volunteer admin support for a local revival ministry.
You truly are gifted with a "pen", you've been given a unique voice.
Hope Paul is well. Just read an hour ago of the passing of our beloved Jim Reese today; hoping we can find a way to get to Kitchener to remember him.

Deborah
6:16 PM
Belinda said…
Deborah, I had not heard about Jim Reese's passing. He's someone I imagined living forever among us, he has been a "fixture" for so long and will be so missed.

It is good to hear about all of your involvements. You are definitely adding value to many lives and still supporting a beloved ministry in Christian Horizons.

Thank you for your encouragement yet again. I second guessed having published this post so quickly when I know I should let it rest for a day at least. Before long, I find myself seeing all the ways it could be better, but it's all part of the process of learning.
8:30 PM
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