A brief change of topic from Alvechurch Chronicles, to something I've been thinking about; an audio book I listened to a while ago: Scream Free Marriage: Calming Down, Growing Up, and Getting Closer, by Hal Runkel.
I loved the book, and it has added lasting value to all of my relationships--so I have to share.
One of the stories in the book is about a couple whose stressful circumstances bubbled over into tension in their relationship. The half of the couple that was typically the most outspoken and aggressive, said, at a moment that was explosive, “Let’s be careful.” He was really saying, “We have something we care about that is of value; let’s press “pause.”
Now, it’s amazing how often I hear those words in my head; “Let’s be careful;”, at moments when I am on the verge of offense or defensiveness. Pressing “pause” and calming down gives you a gift: a chance for perspective to shift—and it’s amazing how it does. Having had years of saying things in the heat of the moment that I wished I could take back, pressing pause is so much better. There is always another point of view, but in the moment of heat, we only see our own.
When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.