Saturday, April 13, 2013

The Profitable Pause


By Belinda

A brief change of topic from Alvechurch Chronicles, to something I've been thinking about; an audio book I listened to a while ago: Scream Free Marriage: Calming Down, Growing Up, and Getting Closer, by Hal Runkel.

I loved the book, and it has added lasting value to all of my relationships--so I have to share.

One of the stories in the book is about a couple whose stressful circumstances bubbled over into tension in their relationship. The half of the couple that was typically the most outspoken and aggressive, said, at a moment that was explosive, “Let’s be careful.” He was really saying, “We have something we care about that is of value; let’s press “pause.”

Now, it’s amazing how often I hear those words in my head; “Let’s be careful;”, at moments when I am on the verge of offense or defensiveness. Pressing “pause” and calming down gives you a gift: a chance for perspective to shift—and it’s amazing how it does. Having had years of saying things in the heat of the moment that I wished I could take back, pressing pause is so much better. There is always another point of view, but in the moment of heat, we only see our own.

Proverbs 10:19
When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent. 

3 comments:

Susan said...

Well, it's nice to know that even though you are thousands of miles away, you're still in sync with your church family back home. Guess what Pastor Rick preached on this morning? I took a few notes:

W.A.I.T. (A sign on a friend's office wall. When asked what it meant, she said, "Why am I talking?")

James 1:19,20: "This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God."
James 1:26: "If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man’s religion is worthless."

The very best that we can communicate is God's Word - or what we have picked up from the Bible. If (the truth of) "the Bible" isn't coming out of our mouths, that means that it's not likely going into us, either. If our words are not a reflection of "God's Word", then we are deceiving ourselves . Let God speak first (a reflection of Scripture) - let your opinions be based on the Word of God...

We missed you this morning! :)

Belinda said...

Oh, how good to hear fresh news from home! Thsnks so much Susan. I tried to reply by email but it's not working. I seem to be able to pull the blog up more easily than email for some reason.

Blessings from Bruce, Bob and Belinda! :)

Anonymous said...

I say Ann on Saturday. She said she almost called on Thursday -- suffering from withdrawal! We all miss you Belinda.
Now, to the pause button ... what does one do if the pause button is broken???!!!???

Jane