Sunday, September 30, 2012

Sudden Showers

By Belinda
Paul's mum with one of her great-grandchildren

I haven't finished my "Summer Past" series of posts. I have a feeling that there will be several more installments and I don't want to rush them. This is just a brief moment of diversion.

It was the end of the morning service and I made my way to the back of the church to say hello to Paul's mum. After several health issues she has lost a lot of weight since the photo above. She was always petite in height; about 5 ft.(maybe not quite) to my 5 ft. 8 in.; but at 86, she stands tall on the inside, even when gripping the handlebars of her walker.

I asked her how she was, and told her that I heard she'd been digging her garden. She laughed and said, yes, she'd planted some bulbs. I told her how she amazes me with what she accomplishes. "I'm determined," she said, with a smile, raised eyebrows and a look in her blue eyes that left no doubt. Paul comes by his focus and drive honestly.

I was overcome by my love for this woman, and leaned in to give her a hug, saying, "I love you."

I didn't expect tears, but they came, like a sudden shower on a sunny April day, and they would not be stemmed.

I couldn't explain but she didn't need me to. "I know, I know," she said, "I know," patting me comfortingly. And I knew that she did, completely and fully.

"It won't be long," she went on, "It won't be long."

"I know," I said, dabbing my eyes, and laughing now at the fact that my mascara was probably pooling in my tears, somewhere where it didn't belong.

"I do it too," she said, "Only in my room."

I told her how I missed Mum, and how often I think of her sitting at the front of the church when I'm singing on the worship team, and how she used to look up at me, with those eyes so full of love, enjoying the worship singing so much. And as we talked I thought of how amazing the connection, one heart to another, which doesn't really need words at all.

My mum with her lifelong friend, Auntie May
Susan's husband Ron, joined us just then, coming to greet her. Quick as a whip, she let him know that she had been here last week, but hadn't seen him in church. 

He said that a flu that left him weak and caring for a sick grandchild had kept him home. I laughed. 

"She is letting you know that your absence was noted!" I said, smiling at the fact that this tall, distinguished looking man almost as old as me, was making explanations to my mother-in-law for missing church.

And I tried again, this time without tears, "I love you," I said as I hugged her.

"And I love you," she said.


Anonymous said...

I was blessed with a wonderful mother in law. I dearly miss her. I am always amazed how love grows - it can keep expanding and including. It is a marvelous gift from the Father - who stretched the heavens. To be able to express our love to those still around us is such a joy - no matter what form it takes, tears or not! Love love!

Belinda said...

Yes, friend, I agree. I am so blessed in my mother-in-law. We have a deep bond of love and I could talk to her about anything without fear of judgment. She is a great gift to my life.

My condolences to you on the loss of your mother-in-law, however long ago it was.

Tracy Campbell said...

Thank you, Belinda for sharing this lovely post. :)