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The Safe Keeper

By Belinda

Memory fascinates me. Being a writer, one for whom the past is an endless source of material, I am often struck by the fact that an event can be remembered, or "seen" differently at different moments, by one person.

And a person can be remembered at one moment for their flaws, along with the pain they caused. At another moment, their many redeeming qualities surface in memory: the person's humour, sensitive soul or work ethic. 

It's as though light catches the sparkle or casts a shadow, depending on the angle it's shining from at a given moment. Ideally we would remember absolutely factually, and yet facts can be fluid in the mind; fraught with feelings and layers of complexities that are hard to understand and unravel.

I have been deep in the shadows of  memory; facing hard truths with greater clarity and courage; sharper pain and deeper guilt. Of course, how can we ever truly understand or "know" the past? And yet, we try, whether it is raking about in the ashes of our own, or those of others.

My journey back in time was unexpectedly healing and freeing in the end. I shed shackles along the way! And I learned some important things:

  1. Facing a hard truth is only that:  hard. It doesn't kill you to do it, it only hurts.
  2. Having faced it, accepting it is almost easy. Accepting is important.
  3. Only God knows the whole truth of a thing and he is a Safe Keeper of all things placed in his hands. 
  4. We don't need to know and understand everything. He does.
  5. It's okay to feel sadness; disappointment; dismay. Love can co-exist with these feelings.
  6. The guilt of previous generations is not upon my shoulders; it never was. 
  7. We know instinctively that justice demands payment for offence. We are all offenders and the price has been paid.
  8. Hallelujah!


Leslie said…
Wonderful reflections- especially for me that only God knows the whole truth.

That humbles me as I often think my perception of the truth is the correct one.

Anonymous said…
It is so true that we can all see the same thing yet all view it differently. I notice that in the views of childhood with my siblings and further with a parent's death. What we each remember is so different.

I feel it is a lesson well learned, and as Leslie said, a humbling lesson. We often assume because we went through or viewed the same incidents that we should feel the same. We don't.

I just watched a science show that was based on a pretend jury of people viewing a video. They all saw it at the same time. Very few people agreed on things like hats, colors, items, and actions. Further, all it took was a suggestion from another to change their perception.

Think of the deceiver we have against us - he is a liar - and we must guard ourselves not to be deceived and lean, as Belinda says, on God who knows the truth.

Great post.
Belinda said…
Thank you for your comment Leslie. I am so glad that these simple but hard won reflections struck a chord with you. Praise God.

Belinda said…
Anonymous, we truly are "fearfully and wonderfully made;" complex creatures! There is so much to learn and I never tire of the adventure--although I sometimes do feel like stopping for a picnic at the side of the road for once! :)
Marilyn said…
"Only God knows the whole truth of a thing and he is a Safe Keeper of all things placed in his hands."

This was wonderful for me to read today. Thank you.

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