Friday, January 06, 2012

Friends Who Fill in the Blind Spots

By Belinda

Tonight I'm so thankful for friends who fill in my blind spots. Who not only see what I don't see but find a way to break the news to me of my imperfect vision.

Today..."How could I have been such a dolt?" I think to myself when I realize how right she is. And in spite of totally knowing it's not productive, I beat myself up for at least two hours afterwards, mourning my carelessness with the feelings of another. I make a call, apologize in a rambling voice message. The person emails me back and says "Let's talk next week." We will be okay, I know. My heart was not to hurt.

And yet I did. And what if she hadn't told me what she saw? I would still be oblivious to another person hurt by my bluntness, because I really didn't SEE it.

I'm thankful for friends that tell me what I need to know, not what I want to hear. Friends who don't let me wander long with spinach between my teeth.

It's a rare gift and one I cherish-one I need.


Marilyn said...

Amen! Thank you, Lord, for friends who will speak truth to me!

Belinda said...

Indeed. And I thank God that at my "ripe old age," I am finding it easy to use my two ears to listen. Once upon a time I would have defended, explained and denied. Wisdom listens--perhaps that is the wisdom that comes with age.

Dave Hingsburger said...

Belinda, I know that when I am challenged on my behaviour or my interactions with others I go through a process of, first, outrage, then, denial, then, self recrimination, then, a wallowing kind of self hatred, then, usually, apology. The only thing that's changed as I've gotten older is the speed at which that happens. It used to be days, now it can be seconds. So I don't know I'm wiser, I'm just faster!

Belinda said...

Dave, I have followed your pattern exactly. So painful for the brave person who dared to challenge me!

Now though, I find I've lost the need to deny (I'm older than you and it only happened within the past couple of years!) and jump to Quick Realization, followed by Horror and Dismay and Abject Regret.

If I determined never to speak another word again I might avoid the need to repeat this cycle, but that's not about to happen! :)

Paula Walker said...

just last Thursday,as old as I am, I had to state very adamantly yo my dinner guests just what I thought about dishcloths that were anything less than sparkling white and how easily they could be maintained by just using a little chlorox - the heck with the environment ! Even before my much loved friends were home in their bed I regretted every word and my Daily Light that night? Ps 141:3 - Set a watch, O lord before my mouth - coincidence ? I think not !

Belinda said...

Oh Paula, you made me laugh. You are just like me. I hold forth with utter conviction only to see myself in hindsight and shake my head in horror.

I want to find out where I can get me some "foresight!"