Wednesday, February 10, 2010

More than Enough

holy experience

By Belinda

How deafening is the silence of a confession unacknowledged or received.

It would be comforting to feel forgiven; understood--or maybe even just one among many failed humans.

But I am forgiven--by him ; understood and accepted. Do I need more than that? More than a love that is unending and unconditional? More than boundless grace?

Is mine a humility that cries out for recognition?

Dear Lord, forgive me for selfish motives, even in repentance! Your love, your is enough. More than enough!


Susan said...

But isn't God's whole being all about restoration and reconciliation? Doesn't he want full healing of our relationships with each other and with him? Is it really enough that he forgives us and loves us?

If so, I'm moving to the desert. Tomorrow. :)

Belinda said...

Yes, in a perfect world, I agree with everything you said Susan. But we can only be responsible for our part and not for the other's. Sometimes we may have to let go of our longing for human absolution, knowing that we have God's. At least that's the way I see it. For instance, I read this morning Isaiah's response to God's holiness--his cry that he was a man of unclean lips. Not everyone that he offended with his mouth may respond with forgiveness, but God always sees our heart and freely forgives.

Graceful said...

I really can relate so well to your concise words here: "is mine a humility that cries out for recognition?" So often my suppposed humility is indeed a thinly veiled disguse for a cry for recognition.

I also liked your post below -- about learning how to be a true leader. That spoke to me, as I am very unassertive and non-confrontational (I would have done the same thing, had I received the hearing aid "request.").

Marilyn Yocum said...

I might be way off-base in thinking this is like a situation I was in 5 years ago, but....

A lack of FEEDBACK can be excruciating, esp when the issues are deeply-felt and the risk of broken relationship runs high.

There is a strong temptation to conclude the pain we feel over lack of acknowledgment is an unhealthy need for attention on our part.

"Don't be so quick to diagnosis," I hear Him say to me.

He spoke grace.
Had I taken all the clear next steps that had been shown to me? Yes. Then I had to leave outcomes in His hands.

NOT easy. NOT.

"I am the Lord, Your Healer." (Exo. 15:26) Those were the only words that were any consolation. He is MY healer and also the healer of others involved and I had to trust He was working out all our healing.

Did I mention it wasn't easy? God is in it, though, and for everyone's sake.

Belinda said...

Wow, "in the multitude of counselors" there is indeed wisdom. What thoughtful comments from three wise friends. Thank you. Meanwhile, someone who was there when I made my blunder, told me today that she tried to compose an email back but couldn't put into words that she understood the point I was trying so bumblingly and wrongly to make and didn't see what I had done wrong. "But I know my heart," I said, "And it was wrong. I went off track and crossed boundaries." While I told her I thought that God had mercifully muffled her ears, it was comforting and a sweet relief. And when I told my boss, he laughed and said, "You're telling this to me; who always puts my foot in my mouth?" I think I'll keep him!

Marilyn Yocum said...

Oh, wonderful ending!
Looks like the topic rings true for more than just you.

Suz said...

Your post spoke to me. I need to remember that His grace is sufficient and rest in that.