Dear readers: Turn back the calendar to December of 1967. It was England at the height of the Swinging Sixties, a heady and exciting time to be young and I was 17. The previous December Paul had asked me out and I had said no, because I was dating someone else at the time. By April I had ended that short lived romance and besides, I had fallen in love with Paul, but that didn't stop me going out with someone else when he didn't fill the void fast enough. I was as fickle as the English weather.
My journals keep me humble because they shatter any idealized recollectiions! In comparison my own children seemed so much more mature in their youth. It is evident that my life was as busy then as it would continue to be. Trying to change that goes against my natural bent but I am glad that some other things did change.
This is my journal entry for the day that Paul and I finally did get together once and for all: December 23rd, 1967.
Oh, what a mixed day! Got up, had a bath and went to the Regent Boutique in Redditch where I met Lynn. Had a short natter and bought a red dress for tonight, which I hated when I got home, but which looked gorgeous when I actually came to wear it tonight. My make up went perfect and so did my hair. I made some small cakes and really felt partyish. Eileen phoned twice and we went to John's flat together. D was already there but when every one started to dance, he didn't ask me and Paul did. D and B left at 9.30 and didn't say goodbye. Danced with Paul until 11.30 and I was just in heaven because I've always liked Paul (what an understatement that was!) He took me home and we sat talking in the car for one and a half hours. I can't believe it's happened but he asked me out! I'm not such a fool as to make the same mistake twice, so I said yes. I don't know how I'll tell D. I'll have to pray about it.
Oh dear, I groan when I read it now. I didn't actually tell D, in spite of "praying about it." My courage failed me, and I was a wretched failure at parting well, but I knew that night in the car that I was with the one to whom I belonged and through thick and thin, good times and some tough, God has bound our hearts together in deeper love through each passing year.
God is gracious and patient and his blessings are out of all proportion to what we deserve. I am so grateful for that. He makes something beautiful out of our lives in spite of our mistakes and sometimes even through them.