Sunday, August 10, 2008

Holy Fool

A poem was read at Faith Community Church in Alliston on June 8. It struck such a deep chord in me then, I asked for a copy. Within me I knew I would share it with my friends at whateverhesays. The time for sharing has come.

Holy Fool

I am a fool
I look beyond reason
I stray beyond logic
I dance when I should cry
I weep when I should party
I am fool of joy for the things I don't know
I am past caring about the things I do know
I love someone I've never seen
I admire people who I know are a mess
I hope things are fragile, I just don't trust stability
I long for the future and I love each step toward it
I walk the earth but I dream of the heavens
I know I am special because of my ordinariness
I find chaos confusing and confusion creative
I am of no influence yet I strive to make a difference
I have no voice yet I shout from the rooftops
I live a life that's a joke with a serious punchline
I am a poet who's lost for words
I love the world that turns its back on all that matters to me
I want to embrace the people who want to hurt me
I pray for those who hate me
I serve one who knelt and washed feet
I live for a deity who died for me
I am an innocent because I know what I've done wrong
I am free because my heart's not my own
I am strong because I am broken
I found God in a "Godless" place
I am a faithful rascal
I am an ordinary radical
I am a fool for God

By Mark Berry


Mark Berry's poem touched some very deep places in me. I am a holy fool.

Some lines that really resonated with me are: "I stray beyond logic, I weep when I should party, I am past caring about the things I do know, and I admire people who I know are a mess, I walk the earth but I dream of the heavens, I know I am special because of my ordinariness, I am of no influence yet I strive to make a difference, I am an innocent because I know what I've done wrong, I am free because my heart's not my own, I am strong because I am broken, I am a fool for God"

I have grappled with some of these truths in my life for a long time. I have wondered at what makes me a holy fool and have not always been content with being such. Ironically, I wouldn't want it any other way. Although I marvel at the deity of Christ and am awed by the enormity and magnitude of His very being, I have been proud, even self-righteous.

As I have come face to face with my own frailty, my human limits, and my sin, I have also become aware of my need for a righteous and holy God and the forgiveness that only He can give. His mercy and grace is sufficient in every area where I lack. His abounding love is enough. I have many regrets and am very aware of my blundering efforts.

I can embrace the journey because of Him. I realize that I need to come to this place of humility so I can become more used on this earth. There is no room for self-righteousness if we are to love as He loves.


Know that the Lord Himself is God; It is He who made us, and not we ourselves; We are His people and the sheep of His pasture. Enter His gates with thanksgiving, And His courts with praise. Give thanks to Him; bless His name. For the Lord is good; His lovingkindness is everlasting, And His faithfulness to all generations. Psalm 100: 3-5 NASV

4 comments:

Belinda said...

Wow,what a poem, and to it I say "Amen," again and again. I absolutely loved it and am so grateful that you shared it with all of us Joyful.

Susan said...

Let me add my own "wow". No wonder you asked for a copy. Thank you for thinking about sharing it here - with us.

Meg said...

I'll add my wow too. Not just for the poem, but for your honest comments. It is very challenging - there is a sense in which it seems apologetic, but really it is a total challenge to us all...it asks us the question: "Are you prepared to be such a fool? That is the only way to be, if we are to be true Christians."

Joyful Fox said...

Thanks. I'm glad it touched you all.

Meg, thanks also for your comments on my thoughts. I'm not sure if it's an apology or regret for the way things are. I am thankful for my need for Christ but sorrowful for my selfishness, pride, and sin. I want to be so different but the journey there is harder than I could've imagined. Oh to be like HIm so others would know His love in me.

Bless you Meg, I'm looking forward to getting to know you through your postings and perhaps in real life too. Maybe one day we'll have a "whateverhesays" get together, and we can put faces to those we have yet to get to know. How exciting for all of us to be together and perhaps talk of the challenges, joys, and Christ's work in us and how we desire to share a piece of that journey.