Monday, August 04, 2008

The Source of a Yearning

We went to a party last week.
The home was beautiful, an estate property really. Decorated tastefully, no expense spared. The pond in the back nestled into the dip in the hill, trees overhanging.
On the way there, as we drove through the hills and past green fields, Frank commented on how lovely it would be for us to live in the countryside again.
Something awakened in me. Something I keep putting to sleep, but with very little nudging, it opened sleepy eyes, and began to yearn.

Growing up on five country acres, in a log house with a century old barn and hilly pastures where horses grazed, I was spoiled for the ordinary. I long for more...for the silence only broken by the robin song and the rush of barn swallows wings as they warn me away from their home, nestled under the eaves.
Yet now, by choice, Frank and I live in a small town, with a generous yard and lovely home. We are thankful. I believe that sometimes the hunger I feel is akin to envy or an unrest that stems from a pervasive sense of dissatisfaction coming from the depth of my soul.
Frankly speaking, it is wrong.
I am most at rest when I stay off the MLS and thank God for all He has blessed me with. Believe me, I am abundantly blessed, and this constant seeking of something else is either sin, or a soul hunger for that other home that awaits in another place where I will go one day. That is a good longing and to be pursued. That is what I desire, to ready myself, to get packed for that final journey when He takes me to the mansion He's prepared for me. I do plan to stay here longer, but as long as I fix my eyes on that final destination, then I know all else will drop away and cease to be important.


LONGING

If I cry out for a garden
Or open space to play
A country field to run in
Abba, help me go Your way.

Quell this yearning in me
Or grant it Lord I pray
But give me only your will
Bring righteousness today.

The trees are sweetly calling
Birds and butterflies abound
But send me only to the place
Your Presence will surround.

Teach me what to yearn for
To long for only You
Then You’ll do the work that’s right
And make my heart so true.

“Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” Matt. 6:33

1 comment:

Joyful Fox said...

Angcat,

You were so honest with your post. The poetry was beautiful and I love the Matt. 6:33 verse. Seeking first the kingdom of God is something we all need to do a little more of.
Bless you my friend.