I enter the double doors of the Emergency Department and hear his cries. My mother heart beats harder within me as I follow his pain-filled bawl.
I enter the room and see his curly hair, damp with sweat, face blotchy from crying. Tiny 2 year old body, still now, lying on starched white sheets against Daddy's arms. The nurse says to me, "Just in time, Mom." She wrestles to get the I.V. in his chubby left fist. I soothe my whimpering son, stroking his head, maintaining eye contact, and speak softly to his soul and heart from my own. Comforted, he calms.
I notice his right arm. I don't need to see the x-rays to know it's badly broken. I glance up at the light-board anyway and see his tiny bones, both fractured, between the wrist and elbow. My husband and I have eye contact and I continue to soothe this wee one. The I.V. is firmly in place and I learn the anaesthetist has been called.
In small-town Alliston, there's no resident anaesthetist on week-ends but the wait is short because specialists are local. As soon as the anaesthetist arrives, he puts Josiah out and the Doctor returns to set his arm and cast it.
It was then that I learn that he fell while attempting to get out of the playpen. Josiah toppled from the top onto a stool, his body twisting over his right arm. The torque is what caused the break Dr. Romeros explained. "It's rare for 2 year olds, with green-stick bones to fracture an arm like this but as you can see it does happen."
Yes, I did see. I saw with my eyes. I saw with my heart of love for my son. The pain is raw for me, as likely with every parent whenever part of their own flesh and blood is injured. How I always wish it was me! So much easier to endure that way. That's the kind of love our Father gives parents for their children. What's more, that's just a slice of the kind of love our Father has for each one of us, His children. His love is unfathomable, remarkable, inconceivable. He gave His son for us.
I thought of my favourite worship song, written by Michael Card, sung first by Amy Grant. I had heard it earlier in the day and the words came to me as I remained with Josiah awaiting the anesthetic to wear off.
El Shaddai, El Shaddai (God Almighty, God Almighty)
El Elyon, Na Adonai (God in the Highest, Oh Lord)
Age to age, you're still the same
By the power of your name
El Shaddai, El Shaddai
Erkamka Na Adonai (We will love you, O Lord)
I will praise and lift You High
El Shaddai (Chorus)
Through Your love and through the ram
You've saved the son of Abraham
Through the power of Your hand
You've turned the sea into dry land
To the outcast on her knees
You were the God who really sees
And by Your might
You've set your children free.
Through the years You made it clear
That the time of Christ was near
Though your people couldn't see
What Messiah ought to be
Though Your word contained the plan
They just would not understand
That Your most awesome work was done
Through the frailty of your son.
God cared for my family and I in this situation, in so many little and big ways. He does this everyday but it's at times like these that I take more stock and must therefore return more praise.
I share some of my praises:
-our neighbour came with her children to look after Jeremiah while Jason took Josiah to the hospital. I was with the 3 older children, attempting to drop off submissions for the New Tecumseth Art Festival
-when I got home, she looked after all 4 so I could go to the hospital with Jason and Josiah - she served the children lunch and cleaned up before Jason returned home
-the children's art teacher learned I was at the hospital and came to Emergency to get all the submissions I was originally dropping off
-the Dr. who set Josiah's arm is doing a symposium in a few weeks in Nova Scotia on paediatric fractures (in a small hospital, God blessed us with a skilled physician in fractures; therefore all of my internal concerns about competency were relieved)
-Josiah was at hospital for a total of 3 1/2 hours (including 2 sets of x-rays, before and after, running an I.V., calling in an anaesthetist, putting him out, and setting and casting his arm)
-the day went smoothly and everything we had to get done, got done
-our other children showed compassion and servant-hearts to one another
-Jason and I drew strength from one another
As I settled after returning home and began to relax, I read Psalm 121 with renewed thanks. Along with David the psalmist, I rejoice!
I will lift my eyes to the mountains, From whence shall my help come? My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth. He will not allow your foot to slip; He who keeps you will not slumber...The Lord is your keeper;The Lord is your shade on your right hand...He will keep your soul. The Lord will guard your going out and your coming in From this time forth and forever.
Psalm 121:1-3,5,7-8 NASV
I tiptoe quietly into his room. His eyes are closed and he sleeps peacefully, for now. His cast runs from his armpit to his thumb - as small as his arm. His curls rest on his head and he breathes rhythmically and I gaze upon this wee one. My hand rests on his silky crown and I thank God for His gifts and that Josiah is a child of the King. What a privilege to be a son of the Father! What heritage He has been given. I am overcome with thanksgiving.