Micah 7:8 (New International Version)
8 Do not gloat over me, my enemy!
Though I have fallen, I will rise.
Though I sit in darkness,
the LORD will be my light.
I've never been in a real flesh and blood battlefield, but I think that there must be a moment if you are, when you know the tide is turning.
I imagine it's like that moment in an arm wrestle when, veins bulging, arm trembling, heads down, right hands clenched, the opponents sweat it out, literally head to head. Almost imperceptibly, one arm begins to give way. You know it's all over at that point.
I had come home last night at the end of a thirteen hour day. As I drove into our S shaped driveway in the bluster of a winter storm, I saw that our bedroom light was on; Paul had already gone to bed.
As soon as I dropped my briefcase and took off boots and coat, I went up to say goodnight. "I don't know if I can do this," I said. The truth was I didn't think anyone could--there was just too much--of everything.
We had no time in the morning. The snow storm had continued through the night and Paul had to leave for an important early meeting in Toronto. He left without coffee, breakfast and the prayer together that has become so important to us at the start of the day.
But I found a promise of prayer on the blog from a friend from afar, and another friend chose to declare victory, albeit on wobbly knees. Myself I had "willed" not to engage in the negativity that was so tempting--and justified after all. No, it just wasn't on--it had been eliminated as an option.
As I drove over slippery, snowy roads to the office, I didn't know, but the tide had turned.
Ellen wrote to me tonight, "I too, am relying on His love and right now am trusting His love and my faith in all of who He is as I choose gratitude, praise, and love and more dying to self. The armor of God is strong and we can deflect the fiery darts of the evil one. Praise Him for this life, this day, and these trials and darts. May we come through shining as gold."
In her voice I heard the victory that is ours as children of God. It's not an easy victory. It's a muscle straining, eye bulging, arm trembling, sweat on the brow, gritted teeth type of victory. And it is declared in the heavenly realms before we see it in the physical.
God was present in every moment of this day, so that tonight when I came in, lugging bags of groceries that I had picked up on the way home and Paul said with concern, "Frances called. She's calling back at 7.00. I told her you are tired," I laughed.
My first words to her when she rang were, "Before you say anything, I'm not tired."
She laughed, and said in a mock serious voice, "Oh, I'm so glad, because when Paul said you were tired, I thought that I was going to have to lecture you about Excel schedule spreadsheets and Christmas trees falling out of attics."
As we laughed I knew it was true; and it felt so good; the tide had turned indeed.
Isaiah 42:3 (New International Version)
3 A bruised reed he will not break,
and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out.
In faithfulness he will bring forth justice;