Weary, worn, dirty...grieving from sin - my sin. I am not the victim, the offended. I am the offender the perpetrator.I didn't die to self, not today. I dug in my heels.
I want to be more like Him, I really do.
It's so easy to want to do what comes easy. Give into self. Trust myself, give into the flesh, the mind. Say those words ...those easy words. I did, Lord. I said them. That tone, you know the one Lord. The tone of pride, the voice of self.
"I will concede this... but not this. I cannot trust. I really think it would be wise if we did....but not this...."
The still small voice said, "Ellen, that's not submission, that's not yielding."
The strife began, set in motion, my tongue seared...the ones I love. I chose Lord - I chose me.
Forgive me Lord.
It is grace, mercy... His relentless grace I need. He is enough.
Exceeding, abundant, lavish...the grace poured upon me, upon you...simply because we are His.
It is enough...He is enough
Ephesians 2:4-7 (NKJV)
But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus...
I think of what I learned this week as the children and I studied Israel.
In the Jewish Passover feast, the Jewish remember God's goodness to them as God brought them out of slavery from Egypt to the building of the temple.
The Jewish people sing a song as they sup...as they pass on God's goodness and remind themselves and one another of His blessings. Each verse sung shares a memory of God's goodness.
He parted the red sea - Dayenu , He smote the Egyptian first-born boys but not the Hebrew children - Dayenu, He gave them manna - Dayenu
Fourteen verses and each time the chorus - Dayenu - It means He is enough.
If God had only done one thing, it would have been enough. He did so much...for them...for me...for you. It is enough. HE is enough. Dayenu.
I am thankful.
We can all add our own chorus' for He is the same, He has always been the same - Dayenu. He is enough.
He gave me this life, not any life but this one. He gave me this husband, not any other. He gave me not one child, but five. Dayenu. He is enough. He gave me this day, only once - this day. He showed me my sin. Dayenu. He is enough.
His grace - lavish, abundant, exceedingly kind. He is enough. Dayenu.
I am content. I rest in Him. I am thankful for this life. I am yours. Dayenu.
Today is our Sabbath. Dayenu.