Sunday, September 17, 2006

The Lord Weighs the Heart

Proverbs 21:2 (New International Version)
New International Version (NIV)
Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society

2 All a man's ways seem right to him,
but the LORD weighs the heart.

Funny how words can trigger an unrelated memory; “the Lord weighs the heart,” made me think of a friend who died three years ago. Having been institutionalized for much of her life she was victorious in a system life that crushed many a weaker spirit.

I loved her for her spirit, wit, intelligence, humour and the paradox of who she was. She had at once a childlike spirit and a vocabulary that might curl the hair of a biker. And in a world that attempted exert control; she had learned to control her environment with the skill of an orchestra conductor.

Although I could write much about my friend, what prompted me to think of her when I read the verse from Proverbs was something she would do when we’d go out for dinner together. She loved to have lemon pie for dessert and when the plates were placed on the table, she would eye the pieces of pie with their tangy lemon filling topped with the delicate, golden meringue. She would pick up both plates and test the weight of each, thereby ensuring that hers was the weightier piece. It never occurred to me to suggest that it was rude to pick the biggest piece of pie. I was always laughing too hard on the inside at her unabashed honesty and aware that my manners only hid my equal appetite for the largest piece of lemon pie.

The Lord weighs the heart; he judges it perfectly and knows it through and through. He knows my thoughts and intentions and that is both comforting and discomforting!

Lord, I can hide nothing from you and I don’t want to. I open my heart before you. Your searching and uncovering are good.

Psalm 139:23-24 (New International Version)
New International Version (NIV)
Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society

23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.


Cardinella said...

Wonderful story, Belinda. What a delightful friend. And a vocab like a biker -- you scored twice, then :)

Belinda said...

I'm so glad I did her justice; even a shadow of who she was is wonderful. I was going through a box in my spare room last week and found the eulogy I wrote and shared at her funeral and then had coffee with another friend last week who knew her. We laughed and cried as we remembered how she terrorized and entranced us.