Friday, June 24, 2011

Chief Credentials

By Belinda

I journal sporadically, and this morning I opened my leather bound Nationwares journal for the first time in a few days and discovered that the last entry was last Friday, my first morning at Write! Canada.

You've been with me on the journey, but I hope you can stand just one more post on the topic to bring it all full circle; from one Friday to the next, with so much in between!

I wrote:
Friday, June 17, 2011
A few precious moments before the day begins, here on this holy ground, my 11th Write! Canada.
I had some moments of self doubt coming here this year. Was I writing enough to call myself a writer? Whatever He says, the blog I write, has evolved, and I write less of a devotional genre and more light hearted humour and family stories, interspersed with leadership epiphanies and inspiration. Is this what I am meant to write? Is it enough? Is it fluff?
So doubtful did I feel that at the gala on Wednesday night, when the call was given for all writers and editors in the room to stand up, I did not. Why? Well, the struggle of self doubt--and the fact that in the row of friends who had come to listen to the speech I wrote, I didn't feel worthy of standing. Yet I see now how silly that was. The speech had to be written and I had worked hard and long and put my heart, soul and prayer into it.
While here I long to hear his clear voice saying, "This is the way, walk ye in it."
Today I wrote:
Friday, June 24, 2011
Did I really write those words just a week ago? I feel so differently now! God answered my longing prayer as clearly as could be over those precious days at Write! Canada, culminating with my name being drawn out of the basket at the end of the conference. "Belinda Burston of Bond Head," won free registration to next year's conference. I didn't keep it; I paid it forward to an heroic writer who has already typed the first three chapters of her life story with one finger of her left hand--the only way she can type--and who has limited finances. I knew that the prize was meant by God for her, but it had to come through me, for I was the one that needed the blessing of God on my writing--and what clearer blessing could he give than to say, "You will be here next year; this is where you belong." My heart sings.
Today's Daily Light is full of significance. If you need encouragement, click on the link and read it. The page in my own copy is covered in notes in the margin which I have scribbled on different years.

And at the very bottom of the page are these words, a quote I wrote down from a talk years ago at Write! Canada
The chief credential for the Master's service is not technology, but a broken and contrite spirit through which the Master's spirit can flow.

4 comments:

Susan said...

That's so funny... This morning when Ron and I read the D'light together, I thought to myself... "I hope Belinda is paying attention to this today, because this sure seems like it's for her!" :)

Belinda said...

Ha ha! Susan, that makes me smile. I love it.

Dave Hingsburger said...

Belinda, it's been a hard time over here in 'Dave-land'. I'm sorry I haven't been commenting. As I've been dealing with grief and death and mired in the 'wrongness of a life taken so young', I've been thinking. I wonder if we all realize that 'God is in the small things too.' My friend who died didn't 'put purpose on the the morning to go to work' she lived it all through the day. Even when sitting laughing in my office, or laughing while talking on the phone and trying or order a coffee in the drive through a Tims. Even those moments, especially those moments, she was fully living, purposefully living, the life she had to live. I wonder if you think devotionals are something different than a story about a grandmother teaching a grandaughter how to make a pie. I wonder if you think that God is a God of life ... but not the part of life when you walk with Molson. I think the most profound meditations and devlotionals, for me, are given in those daily moments, the everyday times, of believers. Your relationship with God spills out through your words as you describe your walk with a golden dog. Your life, as affected by God, is what I come to read. You may be writing about pies and dogs, but the 'God in me' is being nourished by the 'God in you'. Sorry, I'm rambling. As I said, it's a hard time for me. I'm thinking about life ... and death ... a lot

Belinda said...

Dear Dave,
Your words mean so much. If that is true then all is well in my world, but I doubted for a while...I can't explain why, but I found out that I was not alone in my self doubt so maybe it wasn't in vain.

As for your loss--you have been in my thoughts and prayers. I looked for you at the funeral today but didn't see you so maybe you were not able to get back from BC or perhaps the crowd was just to big to find you. If you couldn't be there, then Paul and I were there for you. It was hard to fathom that this has happened.