I slip from beneath the warm covers, wondering at my nightly metamorphosis.
At night I wander towards my bed like a wayward child, happily distracted at every turn from actually getting there. Those chilly sheets don't beckon at all! But by morning...oh, it is a cozy nest in which I long to linger as long as possible.
Today, though, I was propelled by the knowledge that a friend would be waiting at Cora's where we were meeting for breakfast. Adding to my sense of urgency was my uncertainty of the time we were to meet. When I went to bed I was sure it was 8.30. Overnight I was seized with doubt. Was it 8.30 or 8.00? The need to call and find out got me up in good time and to find in relief that I was right all along--we were meeting at 8.30.
So I sat down with a cup of freshly brewed coffee, glad that I had time to read my Daily Light. And a scripture verse that I have read countless times before jumped off the page at me as if it were written in flashing pink neon lightbulbs.
John 18:36 (New International Version)
6Jesus said, "My kingdom is not of this world. If it were, my servants would fight to prevent my arrest by the Jews. But now my kingdom is from another place."
The "where " of Jesus's kingdom, had everything to do with the thrust of his actions and his motivation at a moment of great pressure and crisis.
"My kingdom is not of this world....If it were" there would be a different course of action.
I don't know why all of a sudden that hit me with such profound significance but it did.
"What about me?" I wondered, "How rooted in this world am I?"
"And how much," I thought, "does that rootedness affect my actions and motivations?"
How well do I, who profess to follow this man, actually represent what he stood for?
Am I as distracted on my way to heaven as I am on the way to bed at night? And am I as cosily rooted on earth as I am in my morning cocoon of bed?
We live in tension between earth and heaven, and I think that maybe that is the way it is meant to be. We are here, now, and meant to enjoy the richness of relationship with friends and family.
But much of what consumes me--well, the verse this morning made me wonder whether it is what consumed Christ. Which kingdom has my heart? It was a course correction moment. A good one.