Whatever He Says

Humans of New York  posts always grab my attention.  The photographs and short stories of   Brandon Stanton  help me see through the eyes of  people whose religion; ethnicity; sexuality; choices or circumstances are different to my own. Through his work he peels off layers of bias and prejudice like grubby bandages, and reveals people in a way that is closer to the way I believe God sees us--loved and precious regardless of what we've done or who we are--because he knows the whole story... Currently Brandon is telling the stories of inmates  from five different prisons across the North eastern United States.  Often the stories are heartrending, but t he face and story from February 8, stayed with me longer than usual : http://www.humansofnewyork.com/post/138933777431/i-was-alone-with-four-kids-my-mother-was-sick-i The words, "honest people like you," resonated, maybe because they could apply to me. And in a plight as desperate as hers, mightn't I have responded

I would dearly love to do-over a recent conversation . A friend needed to share some tough news and  her feelings; but I could not still my brain, which jumped to action , searching for something that might help and I'm afraid my words followed not long after it. My lack of inner peacefulness filled the air with unease; a faint heaviness like cheap perfume.  There are many bad habits in listening and I'm thankful that I was only aware of one biggie at work in that conversation--feeling compelled to help by searching for a solution.  Awareness is the starting point for correction.   Fortunately there are lots of tips available on being a better listener. Huff Post Healthy Living, for instance has a good article on the topic:  9 Things Good Listeners Do Differently   Of the 9 things discussed in the article, the one I want to work on is posing significant questions to draw out more information.  I want to replace thinking about solutions with asking questions to help me und