Whatever He Says

Humans of New York posts always grab my attention. 

The photographs and short stories of  Brandon Stanton help me see through the eyes of people whose religion; ethnicity; sexuality; choices or circumstances are different to my own. Through his work he peels off layers of bias and prejudice like grubby bandages, and reveals people in a way that is closer to the way I believe God sees us--loved and precious regardless of what we've done or who we are--because he knows the whole story...

Currently Brandon is telling the stories of inmates from five different prisons across the North eastern United States. Often the stories are heartrending, but the face and story from February 8, stayed with me longer than usual:
http://www.humansofnewyork.com/post/138933777431/i-was-alone-with-four-kids-my-mother-was-sick-i
The words, "honest people like you," resonated, maybe because they could apply to me. And in a plight as desperate as hers, mightn't I have responded with the same nai…

I would dearly love to do-over a recent conversation. A friend needed to share some tough news and  her feelings; but I could not still my brain, which jumped to action, searching for something that might help and I'm afraid my words followed not long after it. My lack of inner peacefulness filled the air with unease; a faint heaviness like cheap perfume. 

There are many bad habits in listening and I'm thankful that I was only aware of one biggie at work in that conversation--feeling compelled to help by searching for a solution. Awareness is the starting point for correction.


Fortunately there are lots of tips available on being a better listener. Huff Post Healthy Living, for instance has a good article on the topic: 9 Things Good Listeners Do Differently

Of the 9 things discussed in the article, the one I want to work on is posing significant questions to draw out more information.  I want to replace thinking about solutions with asking questions to help me understand the situ…