Tuesday, February 09, 2016

Silence is Golden

I would dearly love to do-over a recent conversation. A friend needed to share some tough news and  her feelings; but I could not still my brain, which jumped to action, searching for something that might help and I'm afraid my words followed not long after it. My lack of inner peacefulness filled the air with unease; a faint heaviness like cheap perfume. 

There are many bad habits in listening and I'm thankful that I was only aware of one biggie at work in that conversation--feeling compelled to help by searching for a solution. Awareness is the starting point for correction. 


Fortunately there are lots of tips available on being a better listener. Huff Post Healthy Living, for instance has a good article on the topic: 9 Things Good Listeners Do Differently 

Image result for good listenerOf the 9 things discussed in the article, the one I want to work on is posing significant questions to draw out more information.  I want to replace thinking about solutions with asking questions to help me understand the situation better. I'm not good at this now, but I have hope.


One of the greatest gifts we can give to another is to simply listen; be a sounding board; or, as someone else put it recently: Help someone discover their own heart, or find God's purpose. I'd love to be "that" person. 
Image result for good listener

6 comments:

Susan said...

You are one of the best listeners I have ever known... You're way too hard on yourself. (IMHO)

I need a listener who is imperfect just like me - a real person. someone who can empathize with me because they are just as flawed (and at the same time, just as wonderful) as I am.

So study if you must (and I'm sure it's not an all bad thing to do), but not on my account! I think you're pretty awesome just the way you are. (And if you get too perfect, I won't be able to afford you. What's the going rate for "professional listers" (counsellors) these days, anyway? Like a hundred dollars an hour? :))

Marilyn Yocum said...

Yes (agreeing with Susan), I think you're well on your way to achieving this goal. I love this post, though, especially the way it starts with wishing you could have a do-over.

Belinda Burston said...

Susan, thank you for looking through the lens of love. :)

Belinda Burston said...

Thank you dear Marilyn. Yes, "do-overs" and "re-wind" buttons, how many times I have wished for those. I'm not lying in the dust though, but reaching for the stars. :)

irysh68 said...

What if you don't love yourself

irysh68 said...
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