Nobody tells you that when you lose someone you love, you don't just lose them.
Everything in the complex network of relationship around the space that held the person, shifts. You lose the way the missing person affected the interplay of those relationships too.
Five months since Mum died, and I am just realizing that she was the glue that held some relationships together; the mortar between the bricks; the sun around which our planets circled!
Without her we flounder a little, trying to find our feet on this unfamiliar terrain. So much of our relationship and conversation was about her.
We need to redefine our relationship now; find new common ground...without her.
What we have in common is tainted by pain, though each differently affected. There must be more.
We will find our way and find one another in a new way. We love each other. We just don't know quite how to be yet; now that she's gone.