Better Version

By Belinda

My colleague, Kerri Jean Winterler, put some thought into making the words of Peace 101, simpler yet! . Our little anger support group is meeting this afternoon. We are excited about learning better ways to deal with anger together. God uses all things redemptively, doesn't he?

Thank you Kerri Jean, (and here is her version:)
  1. When people disagree and one is angry, talking will make the anger bigger.
  2. The angry person may say things that make you mad. Now two people are mad.
  3. If you explain or defend yourself, your anger will increase/get worse.  When you do this, you are trying to control the other person. 
  4. When both of you are arguing, you are trying to control each other. You want the other person to feel or think the same way as you or do what you want.
  5. When we are yelled at, or blamed, we try to explain ourselves. By doing this, we are trying to make the other person agree with us. 
  6. When we talk back to someone who is angry, it only makes things worse and confusing.
  7.  Instead, one of the people needs to "zip their mouth closed", walk away and not say anything.
  8. Don't walk away angry, or to punish the other person, but to take care of yourself.
  9. You accept that you cannot make the other person do what you want. You are getting away from the anger so you don't get hurt or upset.
  10. "Zipping your mouth" and walking away is loving to yourself and the other person.
  11. When the other person is friendly again, you can both talk and no one needs to be upset.

Comments

Theresa said…
Such a difficult topic. Growing up, anger was dealt with by using the "silent treatment". I would much rather someone talk to me than be silent.

Amazing how our upbringing can play such a huge role in the way we deal with situations.

I like the idea behind walking away...until it is done to me..LOL!
10:32 AM
swissdebbie said…
!!so very true, I was in such a situation yesterday, ....but easier said than done...except here, I just don't have the words yet, so I said goodbye and left!
But the difficult part is then letting go of it!
Deb
10:58 AM
Belinda said…
Such a struggle! I believe in talking, but have found that talking when angry only does more damage that you then have to heal. I am trying to wait until I can talk calmly, without being hurtful. It should be about resolving an issue, not hurting someone. Sometimes someone will be hurt anyway, but at least not through rash and angry words.
12:19 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Movies

A few nights ago, I touched on our conversation over dinner at cell group--a continuation of one we'd started the week before about our favourite movies. Sam had led an icebreaker where we had shared our favourites and it was surprising, funny and revealing to hear what they were. Here are some of them: Ron-- Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure Richard-- The Godfather Brenda-- Chitty Chitty Bang Bang Susan-- The Miracle Worker and Chariots of Fire Paul's were A Christmas Carol and Groundhog Day , and mine were: The Colour Purple and What About Bob All week though, I kept thinking--what was it about those particular movies that spoke to people--and that's what we discussed over dinner on Tuesday. It was as much fun finding out why people loved them as finding out what they were. We laughed loudly as Ron recounted some of the scenes in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure as they traveled back in time and collected historical figures for their history a
Read more

Ere Zij God--Glory to God in the Highest! A Dutch Carol

Image
By Belinda This beautiful Dutch carol was shared today by a friend of Dutch ancestry, on Facebook. I had never heard it before but absolutely loved it. It moved me deeply, especially at the end after the crowd leaves the church and then breaks into spontaneous singing again around a brazier, with the sound of chiming church bells in the background. Listen to it with headphones or a good speaker to get the full effect of the harmonies. And happy first Sunday in Advent!
Read more

Samson Beaver and his Family

Image
I first posted this in 2009, a little show and tell about one of my favourite photographs. Back then it hung on a wall, but now it's in my bathroom where I see it every morning! I'd forgotten the history behind the story, researched when I first posted this and thought that current readers might enjoy it--a story from a time when this land was still being discovered, not so very long ago. This photograph was taken by Mary Schaffer; artist, photographer, writer and naturalist, in 1907. It is of a Stoney Indian named Samson Beaver, with his wife Leah and daughter, Frances Louise. I bought the photo on a postcard, on a trip to British Columbia and it hangs framed, on the wall I face when sitting at my laptop. I love it. Don't you just feel as if you could gather Frances Louise up in your arms and cuddle her? I get a deep sense of peace and happiness when I look at this family, sitting in the grass of a long ago fall. They are dressed in their best, beautiful c
Read more