I was distracted and worried about something this weekend and couldn't write, like I used not to be able to eat if I was stressed about something. I realize what a measure of my inner state writing is, and how wonderful it was today, as the burden on my heart began to lift somewhat, to hear myself "writing in my head" again, as I normally do. I knew I was "back." Please don't worry about me now, just in case you might. :) I am okay, and my worries were all about someone else--well, several "some-ones" actually--and you'd think I'd know better by now but my brain worried about all three of them all night long and now they've had their ration of my thinking time. I know I should have done a much better job of turning them over to God. But I kept turning them over to him, over and over again, all night long. :)
The weather here in Ontario has been as topsy-turvy as my heart. Yesterday morning we drove to church in a stiff wind, and rain coming down on a horizontal angle. Susan and I, with our friend Frances, were on the worship team in church and had just started the worship service when there was a big BANG and all the power went off. It came right back immediately to our relief, but then loud, ominous peals of thunder rumbled overhead throughout the service.
When I left church the rain had stopped, but the wind was gusting so strongly that we battled against it to our cars, and Susan warned me to watch my car door in the wind and I was glad she did, because I had to hold onto it tightly to stop it from blowing out of my hand and onto the big red van parked beside me.
I had an errand that had to be run after church and as I got out of the car at the next stop on my journey home, the air, which had been unseasonably warm at church, was now cool, with that "after the rain shower" delicious freshness. There must have been hot and cold streams of air colliding to produce the stormy weather.
Today another gusty day and I lost all hope of keeping any semblance of a hairdo. After two morning meetings I fought against the wind from my car to my office, rounding the corner with my laptop and lunch bag in one hand and my briefcase over my shoulder as the wind playfully picked strands of my hair and twirled them crazily around as if trying to blindfold me. Then to my dismay I heard the zip on the side of my overstuffed briefcase sliding open. The contents spilled out onto the next building's parking lot, landing only briefly, as the wind snatched the papers up--fresh fun!
I put down my briefcase, laptop and lunch bags, and knelt down to pick up the papers closest to me, while others swirled away, when a large, dusty red and silver fuel truck rounded the corner, and stopped. The driver, in t-shirt, jeans and baseball cap, climbed down and chased down the pages furthest away and against a nearby fence. He silently handed the sheaf of papers back to me, as I, hair wildly askew, thanked the kind stranger; who got back in his cab, and drove on down the road.
A simple act of kindness; stopping; helping; not turning a blind eye; making my day.
Tomorrow I am hoping for a better hair day. calmer weather, and a completely settled heart.