Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Stepping Stones

By Belinda

So, what's up with me? Well, a lot! The journey of this past week has been deeply significant, starting with my Thursday post and my 5 inaugural "What ifs..." I call them inaugural because I plan to make a regular practice of asking that question of myself.

On Friday night Paul and I had turned in at a reasonable time, but he was unusually restless. Several times he turned over just as I was about to drop off to sleep and after this happened a few times, I was wide awake. A bright full moon lighting up the bedroom added to my wakefulness and by midnight I decided that I might as well get up and do something useful.

I may sound like the full moon got the better of me, but I balanced my budget and paid some bills; tidied up a room that was a disaster and made a list of essential work related things to do before leaving. All of this took a load off my mind. By 3.00 a.m. I found a comfy couch and dropped off into a peaceful sleep.

All day Saturday, a day with much on my list of things to do as I prepared to go away, I experienced myself stepping on the stones that Jesus pointed out, making choices as the day went by, to do this or that thing, with a real sense that it wasn't possible to do everything, but being guided in each decision.

At the hairdressers for my root touch up, I relaxed and read a good book under the processor. Then a pleasant young man shampooed my hair and gave my hair a conditioning treatment and me a head massage that was incredible. To my surprise he also massaged my face. My emotions about that were a mixture of "Hey, what about my makeup?" and "This feels so good." He massaged my jaw and cheeks and I relaxed!

Jamie, my hairdresser, has long blonde hair with natural curls, big blue eyes above a finely featured face with lovely bones. She is by nature animated and slightly distracted, she is a gifted hairdresser, and she has a heart of gold. She had supervised another hairdresser doing the colour, but to my joy, she said she would do the blowdry herself--and she asked if I needed a bang trim.

I said, "Are you serious? I was just grateful to be squeezed in for my colour. You would trim my bangs?!" And she did. I left there feeling beautiful and that at least my hair was ready for my trip to England.

That evening, after watching a wonderful movie from the library, with Paul, I took Molson out for a walk, and reveled in the sights, sounds and smells of the spring evening under a setting sun--and in the company of my four legged friend.

Once home I had a dinner to prepare for the next day, when 12 of us would be together to celebrate Paul's birthday, which is on Monday. I peeled, chopped, simmered and mashed while listening to a gripping audio book and at 10.30 I was finished.

I hadn't had my time with God, and I felt Jesus pointing out that stone now, and I felt him saying, "Be still and know that I am God." Instead of praying or reading, I sat on the couch and relaxed into his presence, emptying my mind of the chatter of the day, just being with him.

I relaxed so well that I fell asleep and woke up at 11.00. I had planned to still check emails and write a blog post, but I felt him say, "What if you just went to bed?"

"Yes," I thought, "What if I just did that? I think I will."

And I did. More tomorrow on next steps in my adventure.


Susan said...

So are you following the pillar of cloud around today? :) (Just read the Daily Light).

Deidra said...

Love this post and the freedom that comes from "what if."